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Nurturing Gratitude: A Lighthouse in Stormy Waters

by brian in HEALTH, Wellness & Self-Care

Someone’s Gotta Say It…

Nurturing Gratitude: A Lighthouse in Stormy Waters

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

“Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.”
— Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

Finding peace of mind in a world filled with interpersonal violence is not easy. With the constant barrage of multi-media journalism, pretend-news and social media, it’s a challenge to stay informed about current events without overdosing on images of man-made tragedies.

People often ask, “How do you and your team deal with all the horrible things done to people who come to you for help? I don’t think I could handle it.” To say it’s a calling minimizes the effects on the helpers. Without an intentional counterbalance, the natural response can be to become numb and jaded about people, systems, and life. And truth be told, I wrestle with frustration about our collective refusal to invest in measures known to prevent violence.

For all of us, the cultivation of gratitude is a powerful tool and a psychological anchor holding steadfast in the turbulent seas of human suffering. The practice of gratitude builds mental resilience, and it has sustained my actual life and all the goodness in it for decades.

More Grateful than Thankful

Gratitude is nuanced, existing on a plane deeper than mere thankfulness. Consider thankfulness the immediate reaction to positive outcomes or narrow escapes — the meeting concluding early or the unlikely absence of traffic on I-85. Gratitude, however, is richer and more conscious — an appreciation that lingers and proliferates. It’s the recognition of ongoing goodness and the contributions of others, generating warmth and solidarity that extend far beyond the self.

For example, I am grateful for all the people who donate blood and platelets; they kept me alive for over a year. That gratitude arises each time I see a blood donation event in the community.

Gratitude, like love, is a practice as well as an emotion. It requires a conscious effort to see beyond the immediate, the loudest distractions. Observing and appreciating the positive facets of life develops mental resilience, even when overwhelmed with fear or pain. I called upon it in my darkest moments (sometimes teasing it out with some macabre humor).

The Science Behind Gratitude

Research within positive psychology corroborates the benefits of a grateful mindset. Studies indicate that practicing gratitude consistently contributes to mental well-being, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. By acknowledging the good, individuals combat the natural negativity bias, which, while evolutionarily protective, can be debilitating.

This shift is not about wearing rose-colored glasses but about recalibrating the mind to appreciate moments of kindness, success, and love that do exist amidst the chaos.

Exercise that Gratitude Muscle 

For personalities with higher levels of pessimism, the practice of gratitude may feel unsettling at first. Start simple: First: over a meal with another person or group, share one lowlight of the day and then three highlights. Invite others to do the same. When you spend more time and thoughts on the positive elements of the day, the meal will be tastier and you will leave the table more satisfied. Second: when you are in bed with the lights out, before you go to sleep, speak three things you are grateful for from the day. Let your mind rest for the night with those thoughts.

Gratitude allows those confronting or experiencing human suffering to maintain their humanity, find contentment, and continue their indispensable work. It is a choice to seek light and create an inner sanctuary of peace, from which we draw our strength.

Think of gratitude as more than a personal practice; it is a gift we share, through our continued hope and our belief in a better tomorrow. You’re welcome!

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Amy Lewis – Yoga and Sacred Space

by brian in HEALTH, Wellness & Self-Care

Amy Lewis – Yoga and Sacred Space

Ashia Headshot

By Ashia Gallo
Wholeness Collective Coordinator at Mosaic Georgia

Amy Lewis has been drawn to spirituality since she was a child. Born in Tyler, Texas, Amy describes her childhood home as tense and a bit stressful. Religion became her first escape. As the youngest of her siblings, Amy lone followed her mother into the Southern Baptist Church. She loved the service-oriented part of religion, and by the time she was a teenager, felt “called to the ministry”.

“I knew I wanted to do counseling and recreation, I just wasn’t sure how they would fit together,” remembers Amy. “And I wondered – could women even go to seminary?”

Amy got her answer as she pursued her education. She earned a bachelor’s in social work and master’s at Seminary in Marriage and Family Counseling and Religious Education. She gained a ton of experience as an adult hospice chaplain, a pediatric oncology chaplain, as well as opportunities in community pastoral care. Amy began working with survivors of sexual trauma during her master’s practicum in 1994.

“It’s a privilege to listen to people’s stories,” Amy says. “Being in spaces where people are grieving, and having the honor of walking alongside them as they figure out how to continue to live with loss sparked my passion.”

It was also during this time, after Amy married a man she met at seminary, that she moved to Decatur, GA. Living in a very diverse and free community, Amy began to ask more questions about herself for the first time. Though she and her husband had a ton in common (including a baby girl born in 2001), Amy began realizing some truths about her sexuality.

“My pregnancy was one of the first times I paid attention to my body,” recalls Amy. “It was also the first time I took a yoga class! It was a pivotal moment of finally realizing ‘there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a lesbian!’”
Amy came out around the same time she was being ordained, her daughter was 18 months, and the family had moved to a new city. It was challenging to find a therapist who understood and believed her about her sexuality in the small Midwest town. With grit and determination, she found a therapist who supported her and her husband through their divorce with the primary goal of becoming the best co-parents they could possibly be for their daughter.

Amy finally felt she was living her truth, and after another decade of pastoral care work, Amy needed to expand her understanding and experience of embodiment practices.

“I had done grief and loss work as a chaplain for about 20 years at that point. It is important for me to do embodiment work. I needed to move and metabolize the pain and grief that I had experienced personally and vicariously.”

After a happy marriage to her now wife, another child, and a decade off her mat, Amy was ready to embrace her yoga practice again. As she sought an embodiment practice, her first yoga teacher, Kath Meadows, also worked with incarcerated women in Maryland. Amy learned a lot through Kath about creating space within ourselves and was inspired by the abundant ways yoga was making a difference in the lives of people who were suffering.

“My life shifted when I dove into embodiment,” says Amy. “Studying how the body transforms through movement felt like a natural next step in my personal and professional spiritual development.”

Upon completing her RYT 200 certification in 2014, Amy has been dedicated to teaching yoga in many mental wellness programs. She worked at a school for traumatized children, where she taught yoga and mindfulness as a part of teaching coping skills.

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Wholeness Collective – A Wellness Program Launch

by brian in HEALTH, Wellness & Self-Care

Wholeness Collective – A Wellness Program Launch

 

By: Ashia Gallo, MPA

At Mosaic Georgia, we play a very sensitive role in the lives of the clients we support. From the first moment we meet them, the stakes are high. We are likely making introductions with a crime victim on the worst day of their lives. It’s a sacred responsibility that our team doesn’t take lightly.

At Mosaic Georgia, we specialize in crisis response for victims of sexual assault, child abuse, and more. A survivor may come to us after experiencing a sexual violation, calling the 24-hour crisis line mere hours or days after an incident. Next steps include an advocate helping the victim to ground, informing them of our services, and possibly making a same-day appointment at our confidential office location.

Once the victim arrives in person, we work to establish safety and trust among trained advocates, provide medical and law enforcement support, and determine the best plan for next steps – navigating difficult healing, and possibly legal, journeys.

The need to further develop these long-term responses became an issue that Mosaic Georgia leadership was desperate to solve. Our legal team helps victims through rigorous and otherwise expensive court proceedings to receive justice against an abuser. Our counseling team provides the one-on-one processing space that so many trauma survivors must undergo in order to move through their pain and not let the impacts of sexual or child abuse dominate their futures.

What isn’t often considered, though, is the isolation felt by these victims as they move through the healing process. The spiritual warfare, the identity crisis, the loss of self and safety at a soul level. The Wholeness Collective was born from these realities. When I signed on as program coordinator in Summer 2022, I was determined to combine my experiences as a victims’ advocate, activist, and international service worker to nurture the creation of this vision.

The goal of the Wholeness Collective was simple – design a trauma-informed healing and wellness program enhancing Mosaic Georgia’s mission by extending care to abuse survivors beyond our established crisis response period. To encourage and support long-term healing and wellness for those on the road back from trauma.

I spent the first several weeks creating a network of people who knew how to do just that. Reflecting its namesake, I aimed to build a “collective” healing community and knew that it couldn’t happen independently. I cold called and emailed countless community-serving nonprofits in Gwinnett County to spread the word about what we were creating. I also ensembled an Advisory Committee from those I talked to with diverse backgrounds, in terms of both identity and area of expertise. Committee members include local business owners, artists, mental health professionals, higher education administrators, and esteemed Mosaic Georgia staff members.

After months of building community interest, partner support, and referral processes at Mosaic Georgia and beyond, the Wholeness Collective launched in October 2022. The results were more than I could’ve ever imagined!

We held a total of 24 FREE Wholeness events and classes in the program’s first quarter, a variety of offerings: support groups for adult, female sexual assault survivors, music classes for children, sound healing and yoga classes, and a workshop for youth-serving professionals and parents about the ways we can protect our kids from abuse.

Nearly 70 participants registered for Wholeness events. Seven healing modality facilitators shared their gifts and led classes. Our program evaluation process (44% response rate) reflected success, revealing an increase in participants’ sense of agency, well-being, empowerment, and positive feelings about their healing journeys over an 8-week period.

We also received notable feedback we are excited to implement in 2023: creating more connection among participants and facilitators, offering culturally specific programming, and taking our events out of the office and into the community!

The sky is the limit for the future of the Wholeness Collective, and I am honored to lead the charge in Mosaic Georgia’s unique, holistic approach to victim services. Amongst our class facilitators, community stakeholders, victims, their families, and the Mosaic Georgia team, the message will remain the same: You are not alone.

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Toxic Wellness? How Mosaic Georgia’s Wellness Program Breaks Stereotypes

by brian in HEALTH, Wellness & Self-Care

Toxic Wellness? How Mosaic Georgia’s Wellness Program Breaks Stereotypes

Ashia Headshot

By Ashia Gallo
Wholeness Collective Coordinator at Mosaic Georgia

WELLNESS falls among the countless misused (and misunderstood) ‘buzz words’ in our culture slowly losing their meaning. In a climate of extremes where you’re either a ‘narcissist’ or a ‘spiritual guru’, it became essential for Mosaic Georgia to do wellness thoughtfully when its Wholeness Collective programming launched in 2022.

The Wholeness Collective offers survivors of sexual assault, child abuse, and other traumas a space to explore healing modalities like art therapy, yoga, hiking, dance, and more through a rotation of free wellness activities. These events are complementary, not a replacement to the mental health services of our incredible Mosaic Georgia counseling team. The vision has always been to offer wellness programs as an additional support in the recovery toolkit of survivors on their journey back to wholeness.

The wellness industry, which boasts a multi-billion-dollar profit worldwide, often targets those seeking these types of psychological and spiritual supports. With its allure of holistic health, personal growth, and enlightenment, the wellness industry has captivated the masses seeking healing and a better quality of life. However, beneath the glossy exterior lies a disturbing reality – the toxic underbelly of the wellness industry.

What exactly is toxic wellness? And how does Mosaic Georgia work to combat these stereotypes?

Unrealistic Ideals and Body Image

The wellness industry at large often peddles an unattainable standard of beauty and health. I learned to practice yoga for the first time from a cis-gendered, able-bodied, thin white woman on YouTube (no shade, Yoga with Adriene is awesome!) in my early 20s to cope with the stresses of newly adulting. While Adriene is incredibly respectful and relatable on many levels, she also represents the typical, palatable aesthetic that we see repackaged over and over in many yoga, meditation, and fitness videos that rule the wellness media sphere – though they derive from historical, indigenous practices.

Progress has been made across industries to increase visibility and recognize contributions of diverse cultural and ethnic identities, but there’s still a way to go. It’s also not the existence of these stereotypically picture-perfect influencers and business-savvy “healthy lifestyle” gurus that are the problem – their dominance as the face of wellness culture is where the issue lies.

The Wholeness Collective aims to push back against these industry norms by offering a variety of activities, modalities, and facilitators who match the diversity of the survivors we serve. The originators of so many of the marketed wellness solutions we offer were not majorly white, young, nor skinny. So, most of our facilitators and teachers aren’t either!

Harmful Practices and Pseudoscience

Within the wellness industry, pseudoscience frequently masquerades as genuine health advice. From dangerous dietary trends to unproven alternative therapies, individuals are bombarded with conflicting information that can be not only ineffective but potentially harmful. Detox diets, for instance, promise to cleanse the body of toxins but lack scientific backing. “Spiritual teachers” advise clinically traumatized people on the types of books or retreat packages they should purchase to alleviate their emotional pain. The industry’s tendency to vilify conventional medicine can lead individuals to neglect necessary medical interventions in favor of untested remedies.

The Wholeness Collective believes that science is real and that our survivors’ safety comes before our goals or a desired number of participants. Our carefully chosen facilitators are trained in their crafts to teach in a trauma-sensitive manner, work with children, make sure all bodies are safe during movement activities, etc. All folks who need clinical-level intervention are referred to trauma therapists and/or other clinical professionals most appropriate for their needs. We are a support, not a substitution.

Promotion of Anxiety and Perfectionism

Rather than alleviating stress, the wellness industry can exacerbate anxiety through its emphasis on personal responsibility for one’s well-being. The constant pursuit of an idealized state of health and happiness can lead to a sense of failure and inadequacy when these goals are not met. The relentless pressure to optimize every aspect of life by yourself can result in burnout, anxiety disorders, and a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction. Unproductive thoughts can include:

“Why am I not further along on my healing journey?

“If I’m not at peace yet, I must not be trying hard enough.”

“Why am I not able to keep motivated with exercise? I’ll never lose the weight…” 

“I cannot make it to these groups being offered. I’m alone and just not strong enough.”

The “wholeness” in Wholeness Collective represents our values of community support and nonconditional acceptance. We do everything within our power to eliminate barriers that many survivors face when trying to get help: hybrid group activities, transport assistance, childcare support, multiple forms of communication about events, etc. Though we do offer some affinity spaces (support groups for female sexual assault survivors only, youth-focused activities, etc.), inclusion is always our goal. You are accepted regardless of age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, race, or any other historically rejected identity. We are on this journey together.

Conclusion

While the pursuit of wellness is a noble goal, the emergence of toxic wellness threatens the very essence of well-being. At Mosaic Geogia, we seek to offer balance, authenticity, expertise, and self-compassion to survivors of trauma working to gain their sense of agency again. By raising awareness, promoting empowerment vs perfection, and prioritizing mental and physical health, the Wholeness Collective program works to mitigate the detrimental effects of toxic wellness and pave the way for a more genuine and holistic approach to well-being and trauma recovery.

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Top Five “Words of Wisdom” From Advocate and Survivor Kevin McNeil

by Susan Nerenbaum in Survivor Stories & Advocacy

Top Five “Words of Wisdom” From Advocate and Survivor Kevin McNeil 

Compiled by Amanda Makrogianis Mickelsen
Marketing Project Manager and Copywriter

Societal norms dictate that men are supposed to ‘be strong’ and not show much emotion outside of anger. This June, during Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, we are challenging that norm and showing love and support to our male-identifying fathers, brothers, nephews, cousins, and friends who may be hurting and in need of healing.  

In honor of men’s health and wellbeing, we share the inspiring story of Kevin McNeil. A survivor of childhood sexual assault, Kevin journeyed from the depths of depression and addiction to a phenomenal rise as a renowned speaker, accomplished author, and dedicated survivor advocate. Maryam Jordan, the head of Mosaic Georgia’s Professional Education & Training Services sat down with Kevin last year to discuss his extraordinary journey. 

Watch Kevin's full interview

Outlined below are some thought-provoking takeaways from their talk:

“There’s a lot more men out there and young boys who have been assaulted sexually. But they’re not coming forward because we haven’t created the space–we haven’t created the space for them to be honest and to be truthful. They don’t know what to do with that emotion [anger] so they display it in ways that may be destructive. 

What I would say is….Search. Find. Support is out there. Go online and find somebody. Tell your story. 
 
Because what I found is when you have a conversation with a concerned listener then that pain can be actually released in a good safe space. You don’t have to carry that around with you all the time. You can define yourself, you don’t have to be defined by what happened to you, or how other people perceive what happened to you.   

Once you educate yourself…that’s what saved me.”

Coping with Trauma Individually and Collectively 

In describing his own personal journey of coming to terms with the violent sexual assault in his past, Kevin shares how the mind copes with traumatic events in an effort to survive. 

“I became another person. I left that [abused] little boy on the bleachers. But I acted out a lot. This new person was very aggressive, very angry. However, because people around me weren’t informed about how trauma worked, I was judged a lot as a bad kid.”   

 

As a police officer, Kevin began to look at the different types of violence he was seeing daily and started to look for answers and identify patterns.  

“I had a question for myself – why is there so much violence? I became a detective and I started seeing the origins of violence come from traumatized children.”

Everybody was talking about trauma in the classrooms and courtrooms but no one was talking about it in their living rooms.”  

Kevin goes on to discuss the importance of trauma-informed education–for parents, teachers, caretakers, coaches, law enforcement–anyone who is providing guidance to our children. A much greater understanding is necessary around trauma and how it is masked through various behaviors. 

Recognizing this need shaped Kevin, and eventually drove him to motivate and transform others as founder and CEO of The Twelve Project, This vital nonprofit provides a safe haven for families and children, and provides crucial resources and education on abuse and the effects of trauma.  

As a former Special Victim’s detective, Kevin educates first responders on how trauma affects individuals and victims. He also advocates for legislation and would like to see mandatory training for organizations and individuals who work with children, like daycare centers and churches.   

“Education is a big part of my healing journey”.

Shifting Away from Trauma as the Enemy  

The word trauma has a negative connotation; to most it represents sentiments of something daunting, tragic, or unnerving that happened in the past. Yet Kevin’s unique perspective offers us a reimagined image of the role trauma plays in a person’s sense of self, their mindset, and individual path to healing.   

“I often tell people that trauma is not a bad thing, it’s a natural response to a bad thing happening to you… 

Trauma gets a bad name but it’s the body’s way of responding to an unnatural event. It becomes very key and very important for us to understand trauma is more something to learn from than it is to get rid of….It’s something that actually holds the wisdom of why you are the way you are today, and how you think and process the world around you. And so that’s what being trauma informed means. Not just knowing what trauma is but knowing how it affects not only the person but their relationships going forward.” 

The Brain Knows Best

What if we thought of the brain not as a thought-producing, system-regulating organ that resides within our head, but as a protector—a keeper of sorts, presiding over our survival and wellbeing.  

“I always tell people your brain is smarter than you. The brain knew that as a little boy I couldn’t handle all that stress so it blocked it out for me. But it didn’t prevent the symptoms from occurring as an adult. It’s very important for people to know that trauma victims respond differently to trauma. And some of the things they respond to, or triggers, may not be what society says is constructive or positive. Often times people tell trauma victims to stop behavior without understanding why the behavior exists in the first place. To you it may be a bad, disruptive behavior but for them it could be a coping mechanism. It could be something that they’ve used all their life to survive, and they know no other way to interact with the world and with people in the world.”

Watch as Kevin further discusses how his brain used dissociation as a survival mechanism. 

Ending the Blame Game 

Victim blaming is a part of our culture and many people do not recognize they are participating in and perpetuating it. Kevin reminds us to take note of our thoughts and our words if we are ever dealing with a friend or family member who is disclosing abuse.  

“When it comes to victims they are actually their worst critic …when people victim-blame and question…why didn’t you tell, why didn’t you fight…Victims have already struggled with those questions and when someone who doesn’t understand trauma comes back at them with those same questions that’s where that shame comes from…now they really feel bad…because I felt bad for being a victim but now because you’ve asked me these questions I feel bad because I didn’t do those things that you said I should have done.”

For those who feel called to know more and to advocate, Mosaic Georgia’s Executive Director Marina Sampanes Peed recently explored the topic of victim blaming and its harms; she offers sound advice on how to be an ally to someone who discloses abuse. 

From Survival to Transformation 

“You can’t love what you judge.” 

One of the most awe-inspiring aspects of Kevin’s story is the personal awakening he experienced that eventually led him to seek healing. Throughout his childhood years to early adulthood, he gravitated to the safety of group dynamics–football teams, the military, and later the police force, to help feel a sense of relevance and validation. “Performance became my method of existing in the world. I tried to perform my way into acceptance which a lot of trauma victims try to do”. Kevin numbed the pain with alcohol and by becoming a workaholic; his relationships suffered.   

“I separated from my body, I saw my body and myself as two different entities. So my body became a tool that I used to get acceptance, whether that was through sports–some people do it through sex, some people medicate to make their bodies numb because they don’t like being themselves.”

One fateful day while working as a Special Victim’s detective, Kevin interviewed a young boy at a Child Advocacy Center who had been sexually abused by his uncle. After receiving compassionate and caring support, Kevin saw the young boy “come back to life” in front of his eyes. A deeply engrained but buried need to address his own past rose to the surface that day. “But deep down inside I was crying and hurting; the little boy inside of me came back alive as well…That’s when I knew I needed help. It was because of that interview that I went to get therapy.” 

Kevin began to face the trauma from his past and delve into the prickly work of healing. “I had to learn to wrap my arms around that little boy. I had to learn to love him. Because I left him. I left him to survive. And that worked for me for a while.” But he recognized that it was finally time to heal. And heal he did. It is an ongoing process, but Kevin has gained an incredible amount of knowledge and wisdom along the way. He now generously shares it all with victims, families, and first responders and is helping to create an environment where children (like him as a young boy) can get the trauma-informed support that they so desperately need.  

He is including men and boys in the conversation and helping to normalize the notion that people of all genders and gender identities should have the right to tell their stories, voice their pain, and heal their past trauma.  

We invite you to listen to the full, captivating personal story that took Kevin from a place of suffering to a life of vitality.

 

Mosaic Georgia is a Sexual Assault and Children’s Advocacy Center that provides crisis intervention and support services for victims of sexual abuse, assault and trafficking. Services include forensic medical exams, advocacy, forensic interviews, legal aid, counseling, education & training, and healing-oriented wellness programs. In Gwinnett County, clients come to the safe and private setting of Mosaic Georgia instead of the emergency room.

Our mission is to take action and guide change for the safety, health & justice of children and adults impacted by sexual violence.

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The Healing Souls of Black Folk

by brian in HEALTH, Survivor Stories & Advocacy

The Healing Souls of Black Folk

By: Ashia Gallo

My interest in wellness and healing really exploded during my time living in Mozambique, an African nation along the southeast border of the continent. I was a Health Outreach Peace Corps volunteer in my mid-20s; my main work objective was planning public health projects for the local hospital in my rural farming community.

Understanding the role of traditional healers, or curanderos, and their contributions to how health and healing was approached in Mozambican culture was essential to my role. While encouraging locals to visit the hospital for drugs that would save their lives after HIV and malaria diagnoses, I quickly learned of the distrust and inaccessibility to Western medicines many Mozambicans faced. Thus, exploring how to integrate natural healing with public health education became an essential part of my work.

Black folk around the world have experienced unique threats to their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health for generations. The diverse ways in which cultures have survived and thrived despite these realities across the Black Diaspora spans multiple continents and generations elicits awe. The lasting traditions carried forward by descendants of various cultures from mainland Africa can be seen in the food, dance, rituals, innovations, and folklore of Black people around the world.

In terms of food, Black cultures across the Americas created everything from life-saving medicines to world-renowned cuisines, all from the natural herbs and products of their lands. The comfort and resourcefulness of soul food evolved from Southern slaves’ determination to make magic out of scraps, and to use delicious flavors to bring families together in nourishment and celebration. Farmers, cowboys, and creole cooks also add to the mosaic of cuisines.

Music and dance have also always been tools for expression, spirituality, and unity in Black communities. Gospel music sustained sacred space for oppressed communities. Soul and hip hop emboldened Black self-love and revolution. Dance is another healing modality that has been used as an expression of joy, sorrow, pain, and freedom through Black bodies. From ballroom to break dancing, there is no space where Black stories haven’t been told though the art of movement. Black culture has always been embedded in popular culture worldwide.
Spirituality and religion are forms of healing at the crux of many Black cultures. Traditional and ancestral belief systems integrate with larger organized religion throughout the world. Fixed creeds like Christianity and Islam have strong footholds across the Black Diaspora. The abundance of ways that traditional African spirituality has conceived ancestors, deities, gods, and spirit beings also runs through.

The trendiness of “wellness” is something I look forward to challenging as the coordinator for Mosaic Georgia’s Wholeness Collective programming. The facets of Black culture that have been commodified and repackaged for a mainstream audience have frequently undermined the purpose and purity of these modalities’ origins. It is my hope that Black dance teachers, cooks, artists, and other healing practitioners continue to offer their gifts to our clients from a gentle and informed space that makes trauma survivors feel safe, seen, and soulful.

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Kevin McNeil: Daring Men to Ditch the Mask

by brian in HEALTH, Survivor Stories & Advocacy

Kevin McNeil: Daring Men to Ditch the Mask

By Ashia Gallo
Wholeness Collective Coordinator at Mosaic Georgia

An interview with Child Advocate Kevin McNeil and Wholeness Collective Coordinator Ashia Gallo, MPA

Kevin McNeil wears many hats: former SVU detective, husband, author, businessowner, and motivational speaker and advocate against child abuse. Kevin is very open about his experiences of sexual abuse as a young man. His organization, The Twelve Project, aims to bridge lack of awareness around abuse with people’s desire to learn and to protect their children.

June is Men’s Health Month, which aims to encourage men to take charge of their overall health by implementing healthy living decisions. Kevin’s journey to healing his trauma and building a healthier view of his own masculinity made him the perfect Tesserae feature as Mosaic Georgia recognizes the unique struggles, coping mechanisms, and deadly silence of male trauma survivors.

—

What are some approaches you take to caring for your mental, physical, and spiritual health?

Truthfulness plays an important role for me. I avoid toxic positivity as a coping mechanism as opposed to facing how I feel. Acknowledging and honoring feelings first helps me to stay mentally healthy. Meditation, exercise, and isolation (with limits!) works well.

I encourage others to choose what works for them effectively. Everything doesn’t fit everybody. But expressing versus sitting with feelings is important. Feelings are a guide to wisdom.

Men should learn to be truthful with feelings and why they’re expressing them. It shouldn’t be to make others act differently – but to be real, and genuine. So much of our unhappiness comes from pretending. There’s a reason the Bible says, “the truth shall set you free”. Teach people to fall in love with your authenticity.

You speak openly about the “dark years” when you attempted to self-medicate and overwork to avoid addressing your own childhood abuse – how would you describe your mental health during that season?

I wasn’t even conscious of my actions or addictions. I used to cope with avoidance, loneliness, and inadequacy by grabbing something to drown it. Alcohol, sex, long work hours, etc. I wasn’t in a state of clarity. Only thing I felt was the dark side saying I wasn’t good enough. Then, more shame from using those unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Looking back, that’s how you learn! My dark side aided and guided me. If you avoid your pain, you’ll never meet your power. Don’t judge your dark places, embrace them. The trauma is still there sometimes. And the culture says men cannot be vulnerable about that.

When we are honest among one another, it becomes sacred space. I compared myself to Clark Kent, until I learned to kill the superhero.

What was the final straw that made you confront your childhood trauma?

My breaking point was watching a young boy tell his abuse story while I was a detective investigating his case. I realized I needed help. Children hold so much wisdom. We have it backwards – men can learn from boys.

According to the CDC, men make up 50% of the US population, but nearly 80% of deaths by suicide. We have heartbreaking pop culture examples, such as the death of beloved Stephen “tWitch” Boss from the Ellen Show late last year. What are your reactions to this?

Many men are very secretive, especially high profile men. Many times they don’t have people around them to say “you need help”. Suicide is an act of silence. We must be so honest it disrupts what it means to be a man in our society.

We work to create our lives to be seen a certain way. Then when we make it, and reality doesn’t match up, depression follows. We end up needing constant distractions, and cannot be free.

I was in football, the military, and became a detective to hide behind the uniforms and shields. We hide behind the titles and groups of men. The public image we’re expected to live up to is very frustrating. Life becomes a task. Suicide is the act, but the person has been killing themselves slowly by withdrawing, stopping doing what they love, etc.

Men don’t express how they feel. Even on the way out, many times they don’t express why they want to leave. They just know they can’t take all the emotions anymore. We express distress in subtle ways. And the culture isn’t trained to listen to men’s pain, so we miss opportunities to help them.

“Children don’t get traumatized because they get hurt. They get traumatized because they are alone with the hurt.” -Dr. Gabor Maté, Canadian physician and author.

Thoughts on men in therapy?

We treat therapy like an “option”. If we had more therapy offices than churches, we would see more positive change. It should be a mandatory requirement. Then again, I do understand that people who are forced to go won’t want to…

“Mental health” is becoming trendy and consumeristic. [As a society] we market things we don’t want to deal with. Even Men’s Health Awareness Month cannot compartmentalize these issues. Therapy allows us to go beyond awareness and into action.

We are also often too quick to treat what we should be listening to. We look for superficial answers and try to ‘fix’ things as opposed to ‘listening’. You can’t make things go away that you don’t fully understand. Therapy is an opportunity to confront the person you are and shape that.

What is the #1 message you’d like young men especially to know about dealing with emotions and traumatic experiences in their lives?

You are human before you are male. Maleness is a prescribed title. If they are not careful, they’ll live their lives out being something that they don’t have the capacity to upkeep. But being human is natural. Meaning is the currency in which you purchase your happiness.

To hear more about Kevin’s story, check out his Caring and Courageous interview on Mosaic Georgia’s Facebook page.

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A Brighter Future During Uncertain Times

by miguelm in HEALTH, JUSTICE, SAFETY, Support & Healing, Uncategorized

A Brighter Future During Uncertain Times

 

Dear supporters, community partners and beloved clients, past and present, 

Hello! As we enter the 5th month of COVID-19 in our midst, the weariness from uncertainty, hyper-vigilance, and isolation is real. Fortunately, our Mosaic Georgia team remains in good health as we adapt with strict infection prevention protocols for all who come to the center. 
 
Like all service organizations, Mosaic Georgia looks for new and different ways to fulfill our mission. We listen, observe, and respond to the needs of our clients by cultivating resources to address threats to their safety, health, and justice (which includes healing). 
 
We told you about our Empowerment Fund launched a couple of months ago. Several grantors provided funds for specific client relief resources (transportation, counseling, emergency shelter, housing stability, civil legal issues, medications, etc.). The most significant (and costly) financial strain is basic housing. The eviction moratorium is lifted and landlords this month will file dispossessory actions on tenants who are behind on their rent. Families in emotional and financial distress require significant support to remain in their homes—right as school begins.
 
Here’s some fantastic news: Mosaic Georgia was just awarded $285,000 from Gwinnett County! These funds will help our financially-injured clients regain housing stability with the help of a housing navigator and assistance with rent and utilities. 
 
In an effort to strengthen the community impacted by COVID-19, Gwinnett County recently awarded $13.3 million to 104 local nonprofits and faith-based agencies. This was secured by the County through the federal Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act (CARES Act). 
 
It’s no secret that COVID-19 has taken its toll on all of us, but victims of sexual assault and abuse are undoubtedly among the most severely afflicted. Job loss has left people pressed for resources to relocate from danger or access legal services, while extended periods of time in quarantine means that many individuals are stuck at home with or nearby their abusers. With this grant, Mosaic Georgia will be able to provide relief in the form of rent and utilities payments along with personalized housing navigation support.
 
At least $200,000 of the grant money will pay landlords and utility companies – an investment in the local economy and efficient way to avoid the costs created by losing shelter. The remaining amount will bolster staffing and operational activities to ensure that relief is provided and executed for clients as efficiently as possible. Mosaic Georgia’s Executive Director, Marina Peed, expressed “With the County’s support, we will ease the financial and emotional stresses our clientele experience during this time.” With these new funds, Mosaic Georgia is ready to bring certainty of a brighter future to those we serve even in the most uncertain of times! 
 
For more information about our housing services, please check out: https://www.mosaicgeorgia.org/housing-navigation-services/
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Reclaiming Safety Through Counseling

by brian in HEALTH, Support & Healing

Reclaiming Safety Through Counseling

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz

In November 2022, Mosaic Georgia relaunched on-site counseling services for individuals and families who have experienced sexual violence. We are grateful to offer this service to continue the healing journey for those who seek care at Mosaic. Our unique, talented, and passionate staff provide individual, family, and group therapy.

Our team is ready to patiently and compassionately walk alongside individuals and families after the trauma of sexual violence. We truly understand the challenges this type of trauma brings and how it impacts lives daily.

Using trauma-focused interventions, we assist you in reclaiming safety, rebuilding health, and experiencing justice through healing.

One Size Does Not Fit All
Our staff utilizes models that we believe would be the best fit for each client. We do not have a “one size fits all” approach to therapy. Each of our therapists bring slightly different backgrounds and training which allows us the flexibility to match their skills with the client’s needs. All of our approaches are grounded in an understanding of how trauma impacts the whole person and the system to which they belong (family, friends, work, school, community, etc.). The therapeutic interventions seek not only to relieve the distressing symptoms a client experiences after trauma, but also to help them process the trauma so they can live free from the chains of trauma. Our philosophy is to meet each individual where they are in their healing journey and work closely with them to provide the necessary tools to reach their therapeutic goals.

Why Us?
We aren’t just here to help with symptom relief. We recognize that true healing requires a holistic approach. In addition to more traditional, clinical forms of therapy we work closely with our Wholeness Collective program to ensure clients have the opportunity to pursue nontraditional models of healing including trauma-informed yoga, restorative yoga, dance classes, and Finding Hope Support Groups.

Meet our Team
Kendall Wolz, LPC moved to Georgia and joined our staff in October 2022. Prior to joining Mosaic, she worked as the Center Director of a nonprofit organization in New Orleans that served individuals experiencing homelessness, struggling with addiction, and recovering from trafficking. She has her Masters of Arts in Counseling with a specialization in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is currently working on her PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision. Kendall comes to Mosaic with first hand experience of what it is like to be a client at a Child Advocacy Center. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, Kendall is trained in both Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), and Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI). Kendall loves all things coffee and reading a good book.

Hagikah Birden is a licensed master social worker and therapist working towards clinical licensure. She joined Mosaic in October 2022 after moving to Georgia from the San Francisco Bay Area, California. She has a Masters in Special Education and a Masters of Social Welfare (MSW). Prior to becoming a therapist, she was a special education teacher working with teens and adolescents with cognitive, developmental and behavioral disabilities. Hagikah has worked as a social worker, advocate and educator in schools, criminal legal settings, and with survivors/victims of sexual assault in the Bay Area. Her experiences have significantly shaped her passion for and understanding of how exposure to violence and abuse can impact the individual, family, and community. She is excited to continue this work in the South.

Emily Felton is a Therapist/Counselor for Mosaic Georgia. She is a Licensed Master Social Worker in Georgia and is currently working on her LCSW. Prior to joining the team, Emily gained experience as a hospice/medical social worker and as a mental health therapist in the prison system. She is excited to continue her social work journey with us by providing therapy to children, families, groups, and individuals that have experienced trauma. Her areas of focus include: trauma, crisis intervention, addiction, life adjustment difficulties, parenting issues, anxiety, depression, and death and dying, grief and loss, and self-harm. Emily loves family time and traveling.

Who We Serve
We currently accept clients ages 8 years and older who have been impacted by sexual trauma. We offer individual, family, and group therapy. Appointments are scheduled Monday-Friday between 9 am and 5 pm with some evening availability until 8 pm.

To receive more information about our counseling services, please visit our counseling webpage.

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Mosaic Georgia Support Groups: Healing Through Community

by brian in HEALTH, Support & Healing

Mosaic Georgia Support Groups: Healing Through Community

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

Interpersonal violence, including sexual assault, often decimates a person’s ability to trust others. The violation of personal boundaries and trauma associated with sexual assault often leaves survivors questioning whether another person will hurt them the same way. One may even question their own ability to discern who is trustworthy and who is not. In the aftermath of interpersonal violence, individuals may feel more isolated than ever before.

At Mosaic Georgia, we value the role community plays in healing from trauma. To demonstrate this value, we offer multiple opportunities for survivors to connect with others who have experienced similar harms. Joining a support group or beginning group therapy is intimidating for many. In this article, we will strive to provide a better understanding of what one can expect from the different groups offered at Mosaic Georgia.

Support Group or Group Therapy- What’s the Difference?

Mosaic Georgia offers both peer-led support groups and clinician led group therapy. The goal of a support group is to enhance interpersonal relationships and to connect with others who have experienced similar harms. Participants will learn from one another with lived experiences. Support groups may follow a curriculum or a script so that participants experience consistency in the format of the session. At Mosaic Georgia, group therapy sessions are led by a licensed mental health professional. They typically follow a therapy model that may be focused on psychoeducation (teaching) or processing (experiencing). Our psychoeducational groups have focused on skill-building to help survivors cope with the distressing symptoms they may experience after trauma. Our process groups provide a space where participants can identify and discuss the present moment impacts of the trauma.

Open Group or Closed Group- What’s Right for Me?

Whether a group is open or closed informs when and how a participant can join the group. Open groups, like our Finding Hope Support Groups, allow individuals to join at any time during the year. A participant does not have to commit to attending a certain number of sessions to be accepted to the group. This type of group is perfect for someone who wants to participate as they are able, build relationships with other survivors, and have a safe space to learn coping skills and identify how to heal from trauma.

Closed groups often meet for a limited number of sessions, and participants must be approved to participate. Our clinician-led groups are closed groups, meaning one has to be accepted by the facilitator before attending. Then facilitator will assess the individual’s needs ahead of time and determine if that group would be an effective mode of therapy for them.

It’s Normal to Feel Anxious About Attending Group Therapy

Whether you choose to join a support group or clinician led group, it is normal to feel anxious about attending. At Mosaic Georgia, we recognize the bravery and courage it takes to attend a group session. We are happy to answer any questions you have about the different groups and can help you decide what the best option for you might be. Below you will find a list of groups that will be offered in 2024 at Mosaic Georgia.

Finding Hope Support Groups

This is an open peer-led support group for adult female survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We have sessions offered in English and Spanish. This group meets twice per month. Read more about Finding Hope and view the upcoming dates, or register for this support group.

Non-Offending Caregiver Support Group

This group is designed for non-offending parents/caregivers of children who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. This is a closed group that is offered at least twice per year in both English and Spanish.

Mosaic Empowerment Group

This is a closed, clinician-led psychoeducational group for adult female survivors of sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse. This group is offered at least twice per year.

Mosaic Trauma Processing Group

This is a closed, clinical-led process group for adult female survivors of sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse. This group is offered at least once per year.

Please inquire here about joining one of our closed groups.

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