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Making Room for Grief After Trauma

by Susan Nerenbaum in HEALTH, Mental Health & Trauma, Uncategorized

Making Room for Grief After Trauma

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

One of the often-overlooked responses following a trauma like child sexual abuse or sexual assault is the pervasive grief. For many survivors of sexual violence, their life looks different after an outcry or disclosure of their experiences. It is vital in our care for survivors and their families, that we make room for grief and provide a safe space where the losses are acknowledged. 

When a child discloses childhood sexual abuse, that outcry is not usually accompanied by an understanding of what will happen after they tell someone. Many times, children are only questioning if the perpetrator will follow through on their threat of what would happen if they did tell. If I had known what losses I would endure in the aftermath of my disclosure at 13 years old, I’m not sure I would have had the same courage to tell. Not only are there personal losses, but media has revealed how negligently disclosures are handled.  

Disclosures are costly, but they are worth it. The response to a disclosure is very important as it makes a significant difference in the experience of the survivor.  

What are the losses a survivor may need space to grieve?
 

Relationships

RAINN estimates that 93% of juvenile victims of sexual violence know their perpetrator.1 Many perpetrators do not act “all bad” within the family unit. In fact, they are often loved and trusted by family members. Following many disclosures in which law enforcement and child protective services become involved, the perpetrator and other family members are separated. In my family, my mom, siblings, and I moved from the home we shared with my abuser into a bedroom at our grandparents’ home. Despite the horrific crimes my abuser committed, he had been a constant in our lives for over seven years. My siblings and I loved our cousins/aunts/uncles/grandma on that side of the family. In what seemed like an instant, those relationships were irreparably damaged. While the relational loss to my abuser was absolutely necessary and what we needed, its rationality did not squelch the pain of losing family.
 

Environment 

In situations where the offender is a member of the household, the victim and their non-offending family member may not be able to return to the place they once called home. On November 10, 2004, my siblings and I went to school in the morning, and we never returned to the place we had called home with our stepdad for years. We moved away from a very rural area with plenty of land to run around on and pets, including a potbelly pig. We moved into a bedroom in our grandparents’ home in a neighborhood and were unable to bring them with us. We never saw our pets again after we went to school that morning. We were incredibly grateful to remain together and live in a home full of love; however, it was a major adjustment for us during a very stressful time.
 

Financial 

Financial losses occur when the perpetrator is a contributor to the household’s income. Not only might families experience the loss of an income, but they also incur new expenses including mental health treatment, absenteeism from work due to appointments, housing expenses for relocation, and civil court expenses in addition to others. Families may no longer be able to engage in previously normal leisure activities like eating at a restaurant or going to the movies. The increased financial burden creates additional stress and leaves families grieving the life they once had.
 

How Mosaic Georgia Helps 

At Mosaic Georgia we recognize the long-lasting impacts of sexualized violence and strive to provide meaningful support by acknowledging the losses and alleviating some of the burdens. When any person walks through the doors at Mosaic, we seek to build safety and trust, and to be a positive force in that person’s life. We provide opportunities for survivors to build their support system with others in the community through our Wholeness Collective offerings. While we are not able to reclaim homes, we purposefully create warm environments in our offices that we hope promote safety and comfort. To alleviate the financial burden our clients face, we provide free supportive services including advocacy, counseling/therapy, and legal services.  

Grief after trauma encompasses much more than the loss of relationships and people in our lives. It is vital that anyone who works with trauma survivors creates a space for grief as part of the healing process. 

My abuser was someone I loved, trusted, and wanted to know and be known by. He was someone I saw every single day. My family accepted him and welcomed him.

If you’ve followed my blog or read previous posts, you know the excitement I expressed for the popular television show, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. I literally could not wait for the show to air in 1999. We only had antennas and two televisions in the trailer where I could watch the show. One television was in the living room but that is where my siblings often did their homework in the evening. The other television was in my mom and stepdad’s bedroom. When my stepdad invited me to watch the show, it seemed like the best of both worlds. Time with the person I trusted and loved AND I got to watch what I believed would be the best show ever.

It seems strange to label sexual abuse as gentle, but from a physical perspective, it was, in the beginning. I didn’t leave the room that first night in any kind of pain. But emotionally, I was filled with ambivalence.

I LOVED the show, Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

I ENJOYED getting the undivided attention of my stepdad.

I TRUSTED my stepdad would never do anything to harm me.

I was DISGUSTED by the evidence of the abuse on me.

I was CONFUSED by the passive threat he made before I left the room.

I FEARED someone would find out about our new secret.

At eight years old, these were strong, complex emotions that totally overwhelmed my system. I could not assess what was true, right, or healthy. As a result of the ambivalence, I had to rest on my default belief which was based on a general trust of people older than me. I needed those people to survive. If I could not trust them, how would I make it in the world?

Kids should be able to long for and love quality time with a parent. It is normal and healthy for a child to desire those things. My need for that perception of love was normal. I chose what was normal over and over- quality time with my stepdad and getting to watch my favorite show. Though it came with other hard feelings, the desire for love and acceptance won, over and over again.
So, ambivalence kept me quiet for a long time. And it keeps a lot of kids quiet.

When you hear a child disclose abuse, please know they have likely fought through the power of ambivalence. It is an incredible step of courage and bravery to go against the defaults to tell their story. Please accept that the ambivalence will not disappear overnight. Healing takes time.

Kendall Wolz heads up the Mental Health and Wellness team that provides individual, family, and group therapy to those seeking care at Mosaic Georgia. As a survivor herself, she has a unique insight into the challenges of living with past trauma, how it impacts lives daily, and what the process of healing truly looks like. Her personal website, Brave Girl, Speak unpacks some of the complex issues that come along with being a survivor of sexual violence. Visit Kendall’s site to read more about her personal journey healing from trauma and peeling the layers to reclaim her true self.

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Trauma and the Brain: A Look at How Traumatic Events Shape Memory and Perception

by brian in HEALTH, Mental Health & Trauma

Trauma and the Brain: A Look at How Traumatic Events Shape Memory and Perception

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

At the age of 13, I disclosed years of sexual abuse by my stepfather. Unfortunately, the rural area I lived in did not yet follow the robust Child Advocacy Center model that is the protocol today. This meant that I had multiple interviews by various investigative parties. I can recall extreme frustration when I was asked “when did the abuse start, how old were you, how many times did it happen?”

I felt intense fear that people would not believe me because I could not give the answers to those seemingly simple questions. The reality is that my brain did not file the memory of the first incident, or subsequent incidents of abuse as a biographical memory where the date and incident number were important.

Instead, what I could tell investigators included: the show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, was playing in the background, what my favorite pair of pajamas I wore most frequently looked like, what the abuse felt like to my body, and the fear that swept over me.

This is an example of how trauma memories are often stored.

Let’s explore how this happens.

The Brain: One Fascinating Organ

Weighing on average 3 pounds, the brain is the most complex organ within the body. It processes every piece of information received through the five senses and communicates with the rest of the body to keep us safe and alive.

How do experiences impact our brains?
Decades of research have shown that trauma has a significant negative impact on various structures within the brain. Before discussing those impacts, here is a look at the healthy brain functions that are harmed by trauma.

  • Brain Stem: Responsible for our survival instincts and functions such as heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, consciousness, and sleep.
  • Midbrain: Stores memory, processes emotions, and serves as a connection between our cortex and our brain stem.
  • Cortex: The most highly evolved structure of the brain, responsible for cognitive processing, decision making, and controlling thoughts and emotions.

Fight or Flight Leads the Way

When a person experiences an actual or perceived threat to their safety or wellbeing, the lower part of the brain, the brain stem, becomes highly activated to ensure survival. It may respond to the threat in a variety of ways.

An event like seeing a bear on a hike, witnessing a crime, or experiencing a sexual assault may elicit a desire to either fight with intensity, get away from the situation as quickly as possible, become frozen or paralyzed, fawn (go along with what is happening), or faint.

If the traumatic or threatening event is survived through a fight/flight/freeze/fawn/faint response, the brain has performed its job well.

How our brain responds to trauma is not a cognitive choice.

Temporarily Turning Off the Lights

Decision making happens in the prefrontal cortex, near the forehead – sometimes referred to as the “thinking area” of the brain. When a threat is perceived and the body goes into survival mode, the cortex essentially goes offline, halting its ability to communicate with other parts of the brain. This conserves energy and allows the body to focus on survival, until the perceived threat is gone. For example, during a traumatic event the brain would not have the ability to think through and solve a word problem, or the body would not put effort into digesting food. Until the threat subsides, the brain and body direct their many resources strictly towards survival.

The Brain’s Megaphone

What alerts the body to go into fight or flight mode? A small, almond shaped structure deep within the midbrain called the amygdala is responsible for sounding the alarm. The amygdala sends messages to other parts of the brain that activate various elements of the fight or flight response when a potential threat is present. Functions like increased heart rate and the release of stress hormones allow the body to get itself to safety.

It is in this part of the brain where memories are attached to emotion. Traumatic memories get stuck in the emotional memory of the amygdala rather than reaching the hippocampus, the area of the brain that records the details – like the what, when and where of an event.

So for survivors the “memory” of a trauma often emerges as a strong emotional or sensory experience. Unfortunately, trauma shuts down our ability to integrate events episodically which creates a barrier to recalling things like dates and locations.

This is why trauma survivors often keenly remember a smell, like the smoke of a house burning or the cologne of a rapist, but not what time it was when the trauma occurred.

The Trauma of Disclosing Trauma

Without understanding what happens within the brain during a trauma, there exists a risk of doing more harm to people who have experienced horrific events. When survivors are expected to recall the traumatic event in an episodic manner (the when, where, why), they become set up for judgement, disappointment, frustration, and even disbelief despite the reality that the memory is not consolidated and stored in a way that can be recollected.

However, opportunities for people to disclose their memory of what occurred can be provided by eliciting the information they can recall – how they felt, what their senses noticed – while assessing whether they can also access any of the biographical data.

As this information becomes more accessible and understood by the general population, an opportunity presents to move away from some of the stigmas and widespread misconceptions that plague survivors.

Helpful and Informative Sources

A video illustrating how trauma affects the brain can be seen here. 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk 

Dr. Seigel’s hand model of the brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-m2YcdMdFw 

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-effect-of-ptsd-on-the-brain-2797643 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/202106/understanding-the-trauma-brain 

At the age of 13, I disclosed years of sexual abuse by my stepfather. Unfortunately, the rural area I lived in did not yet follow the robust Child Advocacy Center model that is the protocol today. This meant that I had multiple interviews by various investigative parties. I can recall extreme frustration when I was asked “when did the abuse start, how old were you, how many times did it happen?”

I felt intense fear that people would not believe me because I could not give the answers to those seemingly simple questions. The reality is that my brain did not file the memory of the first incident, or subsequent incidents of abuse as a biographical memory where the date and incident number were important.

Instead, what I could tell investigators included: the show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, was playing in the background, what my favorite pair of pajamas I wore most frequently looked like, what the abuse felt like to my body, and the fear that swept over me.

This is an example of how trauma memories are often stored.

Let’s explore how this happens.

The Brain: One Fascinating Organ

Weighing on average 3 pounds, the brain is the most complex organ within the body. It processes every piece of information received through the five senses and communicates with the rest of the body to keep us safe and alive.

How do experiences impact our brains?
Decades of research have shown that trauma has a significant negative impact on various structures within the brain. Before discussing those impacts, here is a look at the healthy brain functions that are harmed by trauma.

  • Brain Stem: Responsible for our survival instincts and functions such as heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, consciousness, and sleep.
  • Midbrain: Stores memory, processes emotions, and serves as a connection between our cortex and our brain stem.
  • Cortex: The most highly evolved structure of the brain, responsible for cognitive processing, decision making, and controlling thoughts and emotions.

Fight or Flight Leads the Way

When a person experiences an actual or perceived threat to their safety or wellbeing, the lower part of the brain, the brain stem, becomes highly activated to ensure survival. It may respond to the threat in a variety of ways.

An event like seeing a bear on a hike, witnessing a crime, or experiencing a sexual assault may elicit a desire to either fight with intensity, get away from the situation as quickly as possible, become frozen or paralyzed, fawn (go along with what is happening), or faint.

If the traumatic or threatening event is survived through a fight/flight/freeze/fawn/faint response, the brain has performed its job well.

How our brain responds to trauma is not a cognitive choice.

Temporarily Turning Off the Lights

Decision making happens in the prefrontal cortex, near the forehead – sometimes referred to as the “thinking area” of the brain. When a threat is perceived and the body goes into survival mode, the cortex essentially goes offline, halting its ability to communicate with other parts of the brain. This conserves energy and allows the body to focus on survival, until the perceived threat is gone. For example, during a traumatic event the brain would not have the ability to think through and solve a word problem, or the body would not put effort into digesting food. Until the threat subsides, the brain and body direct their many resources strictly towards survival.

The Brain’s Megaphone

What alerts the body to go into fight or flight mode? A small, almond shaped structure deep within the midbrain called the amygdala is responsible for sounding the alarm. The amygdala sends messages to other parts of the brain that activate various elements of the fight or flight response when a potential threat is present. Functions like increased heart rate and the release of stress hormones allow the body to get itself to safety.

It is in this part of the brain where memories are attached to emotion. Traumatic memories get stuck in the emotional memory of the amygdala rather than reaching the hippocampus, the area of the brain that records the details – like the what, when and where of an event.

So for survivors the “memory” of a trauma often emerges as a strong emotional or sensory experience. Unfortunately, trauma shuts down our ability to integrate events episodically which creates a barrier to recalling things like dates and locations.

This is why trauma survivors often keenly remember a smell, like the smoke of a house burning or the cologne of a rapist, but not what time it was when the trauma occurred.

The Trauma of Disclosing Trauma

Without understanding what happens within the brain during a trauma, there exists a risk of doing more harm to people who have experienced horrific events. When survivors are expected to recall the traumatic event in an episodic manner (the when, where, why), they become set up for judgement, disappointment, frustration, and even disbelief despite the reality that the memory is not consolidated and stored in a way that can be recollected.

However, opportunities for people to disclose their memory of what occurred can be provided by eliciting the information they can recall – how they felt, what their senses noticed – while assessing whether they can also access any of the biographical data.

As this information becomes more accessible and understood by the general population, an opportunity presents to move away from some of the stigmas and widespread misconceptions that plague survivors.

Helpful and Informative Sources

A video illustrating how trauma affects the brain can be seen here. 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk 

Dr. Seigel’s hand model of the brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-m2YcdMdFw 

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-effect-of-ptsd-on-the-brain-2797643 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/202106/understanding-the-trauma-brain 

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Solutions for Survivors/Victims of Crimes: the Criminal Justice System, Civil Legal Remedies, and Non-legal Assistance

by miguelm in JUSTICE, Legal & Justice System

Solutions for Survivors/Victims of Crimes: the Criminal Justice System, Civil Legal Remedies, and Non-legal Assistance

 

Helpful responses to sexual assault and sexual abuse can take many forms. The criminal justice system is an important part of the puzzle for many victims of crimes, but sometimes a lack of corroborating evidence and other factors prevent cases from ending in arrest and eventual conviction. For a reported perpetrator to be found guilty, prosecutors must be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt (See the chart below) that the crime occurred and that the reported perpetrator is the one who committed the crime. This is an extremely high burden of proof.  Additionally, adult victims of crimes may choose not to report their assault to law enforcement, and as a result, the criminal justice process may never begin. If the criminal justice system doesn’t lead to the conviction of the perpetrator, are there other options for victims of crimes?

In some cases, people who experience sex-based crimes are helped most by advocacy and support services that don’t involve the legal system. Mosaic Georgia has a talented team of victim advocates on staff to assist these clients with support and non-legal resources.

In other cases, civil legal remedies may provide helpful safety options and can assist victims of crimes with protections for their privacy, solutions for housing issues, help with immigration needs, answers to custody or divorce issues associated with the assault or abuse, resolutions to education problems stemming from the assault or abuse, and other creative remedies. Mosaic Georgia’s legal team is available to provide information, resources, referrals, and/or legal representation for victims of crime who need assistance in qualifying matters, as resources allow. Call Mosaic Georgia today (or speak with an attorney of your choosing) to discuss whether (and which!) civil legal remedies may be helpful to you.

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Why Don’t They Report?

by mosaicga in JUSTICE, Legal & Justice System

Some people who have not experienced personal violence wonder aloud “Why don’t they report it?” A careful look at how society reacts to reported sex crimes may provide some clues. In the majority of assaults, the victim and perpetrator are acquaintances or in same social circles. Because the persons are known, relationships are called into question. Social media provides space for people to declare judgments as facts on cases where they have no direct knowledge. Recent cases show:

  • The perpetrator’s potential innocence is often valued higher than the victim’s experience.
  • The potential impact of punishment on the perpetrator’s life is weighted more than the impact of the crime on the victim.

Here are some of the most common reasons victims of sexual assaults do not report:

1. Fear of reprisal: Social stigma, bullying from peers. Parents/School punishment for being out, drinking, etc.
2. Fear of stress on the family and loss of relationship, housing, transportation, economic support.
3. Fear of losing job, education, children, economic support.
4. Not important enough to report. “I was drunk and I shouldn’t have been there.” “He kissed me/apologized after.”
5. Reputational risk: “Don’t want people to think I’m a drunk / loose / not a virgin.”
6. Incident was a personal matter. “Don’t want the police at my house.”
7. Fear of being exposed (e.g., gender identity, sexual orientation, immigration status)

Sexual violence operates in plain sight.

Perhaps the better question is:

How can we make community safer so reporting a sexual assault is as safe as reporting a stolen vehicle?

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Why are Sexual Assaults Under-Reported?

by miguelm in HEALTH, JUSTICE, Legal & Justice System, SAFETY, Uncategorized

Why are Sexual Assaults Under-Reported?

 

Most people will call the police if someone breaks into their home or steals something from their vehicle. Yet this is not the first reaction of most people who experience sexual violations.
According to rainn.org, 770 out of 1,000 sexual assaults go unreported to the police. That means that only 23% of all sexual abuse/assaults may have a response from the justice system.   

So why is it that most people do NOT call the police after experiencing sexual assault? 

There are many reasons — both personal concerns and system failures.

95% of the suspected sexual abusers are part of the victim’s family or social circle:  friend, friend of friend/family, date, boyfriend, roommate, coworker, fellow student, acquaintance, or person of power (e.g., landlord, teacher, boss).  

With this prevalence, the most common reasons given for not reporting #WhyIDidn’tReport:

  • “I just want him to leave me alone and put this behind me”
  • “He and his friends/family will make my life a nightmare”
  • “He will deny it and no one will believe me”
  • “My parents will kill him if they find out”
  • “The cops will call it “drunk sex” and tell me not to ruin his life”
  • “I was drinking, but I didn’t want to have sex”
  • “He will fire me and my friend if I tell anyone”

Social stigma and shame:  Common reactions immediately after include shame for trusting (I should have known better), self-blame (we were drinking), denial (it’s not that bad, he didn’t mean to hurt me). They feel responsible for “causing trouble” if they report their experience.   

Family or Community pressure:  In many instances (particularly with children and teens), both people are connected by family or friendship. Reporting the abuse/assault will disrupt the family system and people will “choose sides.” 

Fear or distrust of law enforcement:  The response by law enforcement varies widely by jurisdiction and the officer’s training. Fear of deportation exists when the victim or a member of the household is “undocumented.”  Language barriers also deter reporting.  

If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault or abuse, call Mosaic Georgia at 866-900-6019. We will listen to you and help you sort out your options. All services are free and confidential.  You may choose to have a medical forensic exam at Mosaic Georgia without reporting to law enforcement. 

We want you to feel comfortable and ready if you choose to report. If you later decide to report the assault, the evidence collected can be available for testing. Whether or not you end up deciding to report, we are by your side every step of the way.

 

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Drunk Sex or Sexual Assault? Challenging Perceptions: The Drunk Sex Defense Reconsidered

by brian in Gender-Based Violence, JUSTICE

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

Drunk Sex or Sexual Assault?

Challenging Perceptions: The Drunk Sex Defense Reconsidered

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

How often have you said or heard “It’s 5:00 somewhere” as a signal to relax from work or studies? From moonshine, wine and beer to the latest spiked seltzers, alcohol has been a social lubricant for many millennia. But its effects on decision-making and behavior are far-reaching and complex.

It Has a Name: Alcohol Myopia

Alcohol myopia – a state where the drinker’s mental and emotional focus narrows. Alcohol decreases the number of social and environmental cues the drinker can focus on; it enhances their focus on immediate gratification and impulsive decision making. The combination of impaired judgment and lower inhibitions can lead to risky behaviors.

Alcohol affects several areas of brain function:

  • reduces activity in the frontal lobe, which governs attention, motivation, and learning.
  • reduces effectiveness of the pre-frontal cortex, which moderates behavior and aggression.
  • triggers the brain’s reward centers and increases feelings of euphoria.
  • enters the amygdala and makes the drinker less likely to feel threatened or afraid.
  • enters the cerebellum, which governs coordination and balance. That is why drunk people often stagger and stumble.

Alcohol myopia explains why someone under the influence may overlook the cues of rejection from another person. It’s like wearing blinders, where only the immediate experience matters, and everything else (including the other person’s wishes) fades into the background. Or the cues they do receive trigger an aggressive response.

To be clear: alcohol DOES NOT CAUSE sexual assault. Most people under the influence of alcohol are not aggressive and DO NOT assault other people.

Consider three common harms by intoxicated people:

Drunk Driving

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 37 people in the US die in drunk driving crashes each day. In 2021, 13,384 people died in alcohol-impaired driving traffic deaths – a 14% increase from 2020. Society rightfully condemns this behavior, recognizing the immense danger posed to oneself and others. No one asks for it.

Fighting While Drunk

Alcohol consumption is associated with aggressive behavior, consistent with lower inhibitions and impulsivity. Now, picture a heated altercation erupting between two guys at a bar, both under the influence of alcohol. Despite their impaired judgment, society does not hesitate to assign blame and hold them accountable for their violent behavior.

Sexually Assaulting while Drunk

When a drunk person sexually assaults – whether groping, fondling or worse – the responsibility narrative shifts. The assaulter’s behavior is neutralized by victim-blaming and excuses such as questioning consent and their responsibility, with the perpetrator often escaping consequences under the guise of “drunk sex.” “She was drunk, too.”….“She’s just embarrassed”….minimizing the harm to neutralize accountability. “He made a mistake. One error in judgment shouldn’t cost him his future.”

It must be asked: Why do we hold drunk individuals accountable for some actions but excuse them in another?

Confronting Double Standards

While some harms, like robbery, are readily condemned, others are met with doubt or denial.

If a man is mugged on the street and robbed of his watch and wallet, would he be asked:

  • Why were you wearing expensive clothes or a flashy watch?
  • Why were you out late?
  • How much had you had to drink?
  • Haven’t you been generous with needy people on the street before?
  • Did you say “no”? The suspect said you consented and gave him the watch and wallet without a struggle.

No, because in cases of robbery, the focus is rightfully on the perpetrator, not the victim.

It must be asked: Why in cases of sexual assault do we immediately shift to questioning the victim’s behavior?

Consider the “drunk sex defense,” where intoxication is an excuse in cases of sexual assault.

In too many cases, she reports that he raped her and he says she consented. All too often, survivors are subjected to scrutiny and blame while his behaviors are neutralized by deflecting and raising doubts about her.

Even though false reports of rape are among the lowest of all crimes (2-8% based on several rigorous studies), many investigations end after a preliminary interview with the victim and suspect. Without an offender-focused investigation, what he said she said is believed more than her own words. It’s no wonder that reports to law enforcement have declined in recent years to just 21% of all rapes.

Who is Aggressive when Drunk?

Predictors of who sexually assaults while inebriated include hypermasculinity, impersonal sex orientation (preference for sexual satisfaction without emotional connection or relational bonding), antisocial behavior, and low self-control. Males with unhealthy attitudes regarding sexual violence are much more likely to perpetrate sexual assault, have higher rates of alcohol use, and are much more likely to experience long-term alcohol-related problems. Alcohol is weaponized for physical and sexual aggression.

To make our community safer for everyone, each of us must confront our biases and cognitive dissonance surrounding the varied perceptions of drunk driving and sexual assault while under the influence. Until there are real consequences for all interpersonal violence, the aggressors have no incentive to change their behavior. Let’s confront these disparities and insist on a more equitable and just approach to addressing sexual violence.

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Someone’s Gotta Say It… Kindred Spirits Work to End Gender-Based Violence Around the World

by brian in Gender-Based Violence, JUSTICE

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

Kindred Spirits Work to End Gender-Based Violence Around the World

 

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

“The value of these exchanges and experiences includes building global solidarity in the mission toward a world free of violence.”

Lagan Denhard, MPH, Health Scientist, Gender & Youth Team, HIV Prevention Branch, Global Health Center, Centers for Disease Control & Prevention

In October, Mosaic Georgia had the privilege of hosting a learning exchange with 30 public health practitioners from 21 countries across Africa, Asia, and the Americas, organized by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)’s Global Health Center – HIV Prevention Branch. This remarkable gathering brought together practitioners from the Gender & Youth team, collectively dedicated to addressing Gender-Based Violence (GBV) on a global scale.

GBV, an internationally recognized term, includes any type of harm that is perpetrated against a person or group of people because of their factual or perceived sex, gender, sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

The US Department of State shares, “Although persons of all gender identities may experience gender-based violence, women girls, and gender non-conforming persons face disproportionate risks across every context due to their unequal status in society.” Types of GBV include child sexual abuse; physical violence; intimate partner violence; all forms of sexual violence including forced prostitution, sex trafficking, conflict-related, forced pregnancy; child, early, and forced marriage; femicide; honor-based violence; female genital mutilation/cutting; technology-facilitated; and femicide.

Our excitement to show Mosaic Georgia’s community-based approach to preventing and responding to child abuse and gender-based violence in Gwinnett was met with curiosity and insightful questions.

The cornerstone of our model lies in providing specialty care outside traditional institutional settings like hospitals. Many hospitals worldwide lack the resources and expertise to provide trauma-focused care and support for patients who experienced sexual violence and the forensic & evidentiary practices needed to secure evidence for investigative purposes. We take great pride in being the first sexual assault center in Georgia to bring medical forensic care into a private, community-based setting 30 years ago. Mosaic Georgia shares proven practices with other communities in Georgia and states around the country.

One aspect of our approach that resonated profoundly is the practice of an advocate staying with the victim/patient during the medical forensic exam. One visitor remarked, “I think more young women would have the exam if they had confidential support. They are afraid to tell anyone for the shame it will bring to their family.”

Our international colleagues are no strangers to the challenges of addressing and preventing gender-based violence. The Global Health Center’s Gender & Youth team focuses on youth-specific and Gender Based Violence (GBV) programming as cross-cutting priorities in ending HIV as a public health threat. Many of them are providers themselves or have played critical roles in ensuring or expanding services for victims and survivors. At our gathering we learned about how CDC offices around the world are engaged in supporting GBV prevention and response efforts in one-stop public facilities, in communities, within integrated primary care services, in standalone clinics for the LGBTQ+ community, and for sex workers.

We have much in common with our colleagues despite visible differences such as nation wealth, household income, technology access, literacy rates, etc. For example, when crises arise (i.e., natural disaster, pandemic, economic scarcity), so does gender-based violence. The pandemic brought with it a rise in child sexual abuse here in Georgia. This very intimate violence creates additional trauma in an already stressful circumstance. Violence takes a long-term toll on physical and mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life.

There was great interest in how we maintain the trust of survivors and the respect of law enforcement when dealing with the complexities of these harms. We are fortunate to have an active, ongoing relationship with our local law enforcement agencies. The multi-disciplinary team model, adopted by Children’s Advocacy Centers across the country, stresses building relationships, regular meetings, recognizing and respecting each discipline’s roles and limitations, and healthy conflict resolution skills. Success requires mature leadership of all institutions to fully support the model. Again, the community-based setting creates a neutral forum for sometimes uncomfortable conversations.

From a public policy perspective, the community protocols for child abuse and sexual assault response and Georgia’s Sexual Assault Kit Tracking program generated a lot of discussion. They questioned how effective these measures are and if all parties participate. We explained the protocols must be certified by the Chief Justice of the Superior Court and filed with the State, and the Governor receives a report of Counties that are not in compliance. This is a strong incentive to participate, regardless of the political party in power.

During our exchange, common themes emerged.

A. Shame wields significant power. People – including faith communities, families, schools, and social groups – are uncomfortable talking about natural sexual development, sexuality, and sexual abuse & violence. Euphemisms are used to avoid offending others or causing embarrassment. This is intriguing given the widespread use of pornography.

B. Gender-based violence is widely under-reported due to victims’ unequal social standing as compared to heterosexual males. Homosexuality is a crime in some countries and culturally shamed in many others. Predators abuse these vulnerabilities with little risk to their safety or reputation.

C. Withdrawal or recantation of an abuse/assault report is common, especially among young victims. The reception of the outcry and the treatment thereafter often causes significant family disruption or financial pressures. Stigma tends to be placed on survivors more than perpetrators in every country.

D. At the same time, psychosocial support, especially when facilitated by peer navigators / advocates, holds immense power for survivors in the healing process.

E. The need for new strategies and accountability tools to prevent GBV, as no country has succeeded in reducing sexual violence with its criminal justice system alone.

Several opportunities to improving trust and safety for people most vulnerable to physical and sexual abuse and violence were lifted up:

  • Early education of boys and girls on self-respect, empathy, healthy communication, can build a foundation for strong, healthy relationships.
  • Develop and support community-based peer navigators/advocates with knowledge and skills for confidential, judgement-free psychosocial support. Supporting local communities with trauma-informed training and activities can initiate great healing. Train-the-trainer models with sample program outlines/curricula can help jumpstart discussion for a community to create their own programs.
  • Build in training and understanding of the dynamics of Gender-Based Violence and maltreatment in public safety policies & practices. Include skill-building on trauma-informed practices when engaging with a victim of such interpersonal violence.

Our Wholeness Collective has harnessed the power of healing and mind-centering activities such as yoga, painting, dance, music, and spoken word in trauma-informed ways which reduces trauma symptoms of participants. These activities offer a path to healing that transcends language and cultural differences.

In light of these discussions, it’s evident that even when considerable economic power exists, the political will and commitment to end gender-based and sexualized violence worldwide has the capacity to be further strengthened. Cultural norms continue to shape attitudes toward gender and violence. When your ZIP code or village shapes your life experience and potential, the disproportionate male representation in local government contributes to the complexity of addressing GBV.

We recognize that this journey to reduce gender-based violence is one that transcends borders and demands collective action. The practitioners in Botswana, Cameroon, Cote d’Ivoire, Eswatini (formerly called Swaziland), Ethiopia, Ghana, Guatemala, Haiti, India, Jamaica, Kenya, Lesotho, Malawi, Mozambique, Nigeria, Rwanda, South Africa, Uganda, Zambia, and Zimbabwe left us with inspiration and hope that we can each make a difference in our communities, with what we have.

The sounds of hope, resilience, and persistence rang loud and clear.

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Someone’s Gotta Say it- Surviving Sexual Assault in the LGBTQ+ Community: Mosaic Georgia Extends a Warm Welcome, Support and Care

by Susan Nerenbaum in Gender-Based Violence, Uncategorized

Someone’s Gotta Say It

Surviving Sexual Assault in the LGBTQ+ Community: Mosaic Georgia Extends a Warm Welcome, Support and Care

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

June 2023

We know that sexual violence is as old as mankind. The expression of power and control over someone the perpetrator regards as their possession or less than fully human is universal. Rape is a tool of war – done to girls and women to insult the men in their group. People commit sexual assaults among all communities, irrespective of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or identity. The rapists use many means — force, fraud, coercion, and drugs/alcohol to complete their assaults.   

 Homophobia has existed for a long time. Today, only 7.2% of adults self-identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or something other than heterosexual. This month we’ll explore why LGBTQ+ people experience sexual violence at higher rates than the heterosexual, cis-gender populations.   

 

Prevalence of Sexual Harassment & Assault within the LGBTQ+ Community

 

Sexualized violence is almost expected among many LGBTQ+ individuals. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 44% of lesbian women and 61% of bisexual women experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking, while 26% of gay men and 37% of bisexual men experience sexual violence during their lifetime. Transgender individuals also face higher rates, with half (50%) experiencing sexual assault at least once in their lives. Public and private harassment and threats are everyday occurrences for many.  

LGBTQ+ individuals face a higher risk of sexual violence due to a combination of societal factors, systemic discrimination, and specific vulnerabilities within the community.  

  • Stigma and Discrimination: LGBTQ+ individuals often experience stigma, discrimination, and prejudice based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. This marginalization can create an environment where perpetrators feel empowered to target and victimize LGBTQ+ individuals.
     
  • Hate Crimes: Hate-motivated violence is a significant concern for the LGBTQ+ community. Hate crimes can involve sexual violence, and individuals within this community are often targeted based on their perceived or openly expressed sexual orientation or gender identity. Most of the perpetrators of rape and sodomy are heterosexual males. 
     
  • Lack of Legal Protections: In many regions, legal protections for LGBTQ+ individuals are limited or absent, leaving them more vulnerable to sexual violence. The absence of comprehensive legal frameworks and protections can deter survivors from reporting incidents or seeking justice.
     
  • Increased Risk Factors: Some LGBTQ+ individuals may face additional risk factors that contribute to their vulnerability. For example, transgender individuals may experience higher rates of sexual violence due to transphobia and discrimination.
     

A Safe Resource for LGBTQ+ Survivors

 

Mosaic Georgia provides comprehensive support to survivors, including confidential advocacy support and medical forensic exams, commonly known as “sexual assault kits.”  Our center offers these medical forensic exams in a private and confidential setting. There are no fees associated with our services, ensuring that survivors receive the care they need without financial burden. 

These exams are available to all adults within 120 hours of the assault, regardless of their intention to report to law enforcement immediately. At Mosaic Georgia, we understand that survivors may have various reasons for not wanting to involve law enforcement right away, and we respect their choices. 

If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault and in need of support, please remember that Mosaic Georgia is here for you. Our services are confidential, compassionate, and free of charge. Reach out to us at 866-900-6019.  

 

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When Love Hurts: A Look at the Realities of Intimate Partner Violence

by brian in Gender-Based Violence, SAFETY

When Love Hurts: A Look at the Realities of Intimate Partner Violence

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

What is the difference between intimate partner violence and domestic violence?

The term intimate partner violence more broadly encompasses violence within relationships, whereas domestic violence typically applies to individuals living within the same household.

In the 1970s and 1980s, women’s rights groups elevated the voices and raised awareness of crimes committed against wives by their husbands. In response to the campaigns, domestic violence shelters opened for women seeking refuge from their abusive husbands. Largely, people viewed domestic violence as a gendered issue- one where married women were the victims.

Because violence in relationships is not limited to heterosexual, married couples, the term intimate partner violence was introduced. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines intimate partner violence as “behavior within an intimate relationship that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including acts of physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviors” and the definition covers violence by both current and former spouses and partners.1

Intimate partner violence and domestic violence apply to adult victims, while the term “teen dating violence” recognizes that minors and young adults also experience abusive patterns in relationships.

“But, he doesn’t hit me.”  

Intimate partner violence includes but is not limited to acts of physical violence. The Power and Control Wheel visually depicts the various ways it shows up in relationships.2 The outer wheel recognizes physical and/or sexual violence as a common occurrence. But the spokes of the wheel describe intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, denying/minimizing/blaming, using the children, using privilege, economic abuse, and coercion/threats.

Abusers use various methods to exhibit power and maintain control in the relationship. Without intervention, the cycle outlined in the wheel perpetuates itself.

What is the prevalence of intimate partner violence?

Intimate partner violence is more common than people realize and accounts for 15% of all violent crime. And according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 25-50% of people in relationships experience at least one form of relationship violence.

  • About 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men report having experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.
  • About 1 in 5 women and 1 in 13 men have experienced contact sexual violence by an intimate partner.
  • 14% of women and 5% of men report having been stalked by an intimate partner.
  • The cost of intimate partner violence over a victim’s lifetime is estimated at $103,767 for women.

Data from the CDC’s 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Survey indicate that among U.S. high school students, 1 in 12 experienced physical dating violence and 1 in 12 experienced sexual dating violence within the previous year. Female students and those who identified as LGBTQ or were unsure of their gender identity experienced higher rates of dating violence.3

Ripple Effects

Lives of victims are affected in numerous and damaging ways.

Emotional pain is at the forefront. This can manifest as distress, loss of self-confidence and self-esteem, anxiety, panic attacks, sadness, shame, guilt, internal tension, stress, anger or despair. Many victims experience post-traumatic stress disorder, commonly known as PTSD. In addition to physical injuries, emotional stress contributes to deteriorating health such as sleep and eating disorders, chronic pain, digestive issues, and weakened immune systems.

Humans are social beings, and their interactions fulfill a wide range of physical, emotional, psychological, and social needs.

Intimate partner violence causes a pattern interrupt.

Routine, healthy dynamics and interactions shift. A support network is crucial yet those living with intimate partner violence often lose the trust and esteem of loved ones which can cause isolation. Power imbalances also negatively affect relationships with children.

The broader societal implications of partner violence are extensive. For the victim, requiring sick leave and trouble focusing can lead to job loss. On the grander scale, there are public health costs such as strain on healthcare, social services, and the public safety and legal systems. Employers are affected through insurance costs and reduced employee productivity.

Effects on Young Bodies and Minds

Furthermore, intimate partner violence leaves lasting imprints on children who witness the abuse, and it places them at higher risk of being victimized also.

As many as 1 in 5 children witness intimate partner violence in their lifetime.4 One of the most concerning realities of the impact of intimate partner violence on children is that approximately 1 in 5 homicides of children aged 2-14 are related to intimate partner violence. Children growing up in homes where abuse and violence are normalized are more likely to use violence as a means of conflict resolution than their peers not exposed. Witnessing intimate partner violence as a child is an adverse childhood experience (ACE). Higher ACE scores are associated with a multitude of negative long-term outcomes including early death, chronic physical health issues, mental health challenges, and relationship struggles.

Shining a light on the realities of violence helps to bring about awareness. Intimate partner violence is all around us and needs to be exposed rather than shrouded in secrecy and kept behind closed doors. Talking about it, sharing (the uncomfortable) information, and modeling healthy behavior can help initiate a shift in the societal norms and attitudes that perpetuate violence in intimate relationships.

If you or someone you know has experienced intimate partner violence, there is help available. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788.

[1] https://apps.who.int/violence-info/intimate-partner-violence/ 

[2] https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2019-08/Gender%20Neutral%20Power%20Control%20Wheel.pdf 

[3] https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teendatingviolence/fastfact.html 

[4] https://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2497/dv_and_children.pdf 

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When Following Becomes Obsessive: Stalking

by brian in Gender-Based Violence, SAFETY

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

When Following Becomes Obsessive: Stalking

 

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

“He just won’t accept that our relationship is over. I’ve blocked him and he texts me from odd numbers and has friends text me and comment on my IG. He’ll show up outside my dorm or classroom and just stare at me, no talking. It’s creepy and I’ve changed my routine to avoid him. I’m on pins and needles – not sure what he’ll do next. I wake up with nightmares and it’s messing up my life. I didn’t know what he’s doing is against the law.”

Stalking is an insidious, deeply unsettling, harmful and dangerous behavior done to millions of people worldwide. It’s a crime that often goes largely unreported, in part because socially acceptable tools and behaviors are used in obsessive and threatening ways. Even when it is reported, victims find responses vary by police and the courts. This article aims to shed light on stalking, exploring who is at risk, and offering essential steps to protect yourself if you find yourself the target of a stalker.

What is Stalking?

Legal Definitions

While Stalking is a crime in all 50 states, the legal definition varies. In Georgia (OCGA § 16-5-90), “A person commits the offense of stalking when he or she follows, places under surveillance, or contacts another person at or about a place or places without the consent of the other person for the purpose of harassing and intimidating the other person.” An overt threat of death or bodily injury is not required to be made.

For academic institutions, per Title IX and the Clery Act, stalking involves engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or suffer substantial emotional distress. This definition is included in every student code of conduct policy. This means that the behavior does not need to be adjudicated in the court system to be an infraction.

Stalking behaviors span from unsettling or creepy to downright frightening, even escalating to violence or worse. In some cases, stalking serves as the “warm up” crime and the stalker escalates to property damage, physical assault, rape or murder. In other cases, stalking occurs after a physical or sexual relationship ends.

Stalking behavior is coercive and controlling. Victims usually don’t realize what is happening immediately. Stalking often accompanies gaslighting. Gaslighting is a common form of psychological manipulation that triggers self-doubt of the victim’s own perceptions, memories, and even sanity. This self-questioning creates a state of emotional turmoil and uncertainty.

After a sexual assault, even seemingly friendly contact can be traumatic and unsafe for the victim. Sometimes a perpetrator utilizes stalking techniques to try to prevent the victim from reporting the sexual assault. In fact, 43% of college student stalking victims do not identify their experience as “stalking.” Stalking offenders are diverse in gender, age, or background; and anyone can become a victim.

Understanding Stalking

Stalking is characterized by a pattern of unwanted, disturbing, and/or threatening behaviors. Initial unwanted contact may appear harmless to outsiders but have threatening meaning to the victim. Continued rejection or ignoring of contacts can trigger escalated tactics. There are many ways a disturbed person can stalk others. Here are the most common types. It’s important to know that these have serious impacts on the targeted person. Any one action is typically brushed off by the victim and their friends/family. But collectively, these are not only harmful, they are dangerous and costly.

Surveillance is the most common method of stalking. Technology is used to monitor, watch, contact, control, threaten, sabotage, isolate, and frighten victims. They also use technology to damage the victim’s credibility or reputation. From hacking accounts and changing passwords, keyboard tracking, location tags and apps, using smart home technology, and more. Some stalkers engage others to monitor the victim and report back.

Life invasion methods range from repeated unwanted contact to showing up at places when the victim does not want them to be there (i.e., victim’s work, gym, church), sending unwanted “gifts”, using social media to monitor or harass, or spreading sexual rumors. Some have impersonated the victim to change their personal accounts.

Intimidation methods of stalking include threats to publish or share sexual images or information to employers, family members, on social media, etc. This includes creation of fake sexual images through photoshop, artificial intelligence, or deepfakes. Persistent blackmailing of the victim in exchange for sexual activity, photos, or videos is also common.

Interference through reputation sabotage or inciting others to attack the victim. Some create fake profiles pretending to be the victim, then make statements or comments to sabotage their victim’s reputation. This can be done through spoofing (call, text, email appears to be coming from someone else), doxing the victim (publish private information publicly online often encouraging others to harass),

stealing and/or sharing sexual photos/videos without consent (e.g., “revenge porn”).

Gangstalking, also known as organized stalking, involves a group of people covertly targeting an individual with consistent harassment, surveillance, and psychological intimidation. These actions lead to their victim being sabotaged, discredited, and isolated.

The Mind of a Stalker

Stalking is a complex behavior driven by various factors — none of which make harms acceptable. Stalkers may be motivated by obsession, desire for control, or revenge for being rejected. Some enjoy the adrenaline rush of pursuing someone and causing their discomfort, and eluding authorities.

Mental health issues, isolation, or low self-esteem are factors. Regardless of their reasons, stalking is illegal and can cause severe distress and fear for victims.

Stalkers devote a fair amount of time and energy to this behavior. Two-thirds of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, using more than one method. 78% of stalkers use more than one tactic. Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 20% of cases.

Stalker’s Relationship to Their Victim

No one is immune from becoming the object of a stalker.

  • Former Intimate Partners: Stalking often begins after the end of an abusive relationship. Perpetrators may feel a loss of control and resort to stalking to maintain a sense of power over their former partner.
  • Current or Former Acquaintances: Sometimes, stalkers are acquaintances who become obsessed or feel spurned by the victim. This can include coworkers, classmates, or even neighbors.
  • Strangers: In some cases, stalkers have no prior relationship with the victim. They become fixated on someone they’ve seen or heard about and may escalate their behavior over time.
  • Public Figures: Celebrities and public figures are at a higher risk due to their visibility. Obsessed fans or individuals seeking attention may engage in stalking behaviors.

Steps to Protect Yourself from Stalking

If you suspect you’re being stalked or subjected to unwanted attention, taking immediate steps to protect yourself is crucial:

  1.  Trust Your Instincts: Don’t downplay your feelings of threat or discomfort.
  2. Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of incidents (date and time) and save evidence like texts, emails, and voicemails.
  3.  Inform Trusted Friends and Family: Share your concerns with close ones for emotional support.
  4. Create a Safety Plan: Adjust your online presence, change routines, install security measures, and establish a support system.
  5. Seek Assistance: Contact Mosaic Georgia or your local sexual assault center or domestic violence organization for guidance and help. Victim advocates can assist with your options. Consult law enforcement and obtain a restraining order if necessary.
  6. Self-Defense Training: Boost your confidence and physical safety by enrolling in self-defense classes.

Stalking is a distressing situation that can happen to anyone. Understanding its signs, recognizing risk factors, and taking proactive measures are essential. You don’t have to face it alone; there are resources and support available to help you regain control over your life.

The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC) offers many resources at www.stalkingawareness.org. Remember that your safety and well-being are paramount, so trust your instincts and seek help when needed.

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