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Monthly Archives February 2025

Love in Action: Beyond Hearts and Roses

by Susan Nerenbaum in Awareness & Education

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

Love in Action: Beyond Hearts and Roses

 

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.” The sentiment expressed in this song by Hal David and Burt Bacharach in 1965 still holds true today. The ancient Greeks had at least six words for different types of love. Those of us in philanthropy demonstrate agape, the love for humankind.  A big part of our purpose is to hold up the ideals that make a strong and safe community for everyone, especially for children, youth, people with disabilities, and others outside the mainstream.  At Mosaic Georgia, we see the harmful effects of “love” misused to groom, manipulate, coerce, and force harm.

 

A Month of Love 

February is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and if we truly care about love and relationships, we need to have some real conversations about what love is—and what it isn’t. Love should never hurt—physically, emotionally, financially, or psychologically. Love is more than a feeling; it is a verb. It requires action, care, and intention. And like any skill, love takes practice. Yet too many young people experience dating violence before they even fully understand what a healthy relationship looks like. In addition to watching adults in their homes, they are inundated with all types of examples on TV, social media, and other apps. 


According to the CDC, about 1 in 12 high school students experience physical or sexual dating violence.

Teen dating violence isn’t just about bruises or controlling behavior. It can look like manipulation, excessive jealousy, threats, and digital abuse—constant monitoring, pressure for explicit photos, or controlling someone’s social media. For some, these patterns start young and escalate over time, making it harder to recognize when something is wrong. 

 

 What It Is and What It’s Not
 

Love is not: 

 “If you love me, you would do this for me, no questions asked.” 

“You’re not allowed to talk to them anymore; it’s disrespectful to me.” 

“I need your passwords so I can trust you.” 

“If you don’t send me that picture, I’ll find someone who will.” 

“You wouldn’t leave me if you really loved me.” (“If you love me, you would…” is not love.)
 

We can do better.
 

Conversations about love and relationships need to start early—long before a young person starts dating. Parents, caregivers, and educators play a vital role in modeling and discussing what respect, boundaries, and consent look like. That means moving beyond the outdated “just say no” messages and equipping young people with real tools to navigate relationships with respect, recognize red flags, and feel empowered to set their own boundaries.

 

 What does this love look like in action?  

  • Talking about emotions openly and encouraging kids to express their feelings in healthy ways. 
  • Helping young people recognize manipulation, coercion, and gaslighting.  
  • Encouraging digital safety and privacy in relationships. 
  • Modeling respect and consent in all relationships—not just romantic ones. 
  • Expressing love in positive ways:
     
    • In work: Recognizing and appreciating colleagues’ efforts, offering support during stressful times, and fostering a culture of respect and encouragement. 
    • In friendship: Being present, listening without judgment, celebrating each other’s successes, and standing by one another through difficult times. 
    • In family: Showing affection through words and actions, respecting boundaries, and prioritizing quality time together. 
    • In romance: Practicing open communication, demonstrating trust, supporting each other’s goals, and expressing appreciation regularly. 

 

For those who’ve already experienced interpersonal violence, it’s never too late to get support. People are reluctant to speak up, fearing shame, disbelief, or retaliation. To create safe, judgment-free spaces for disclosure, just listen.  

 

Don’t ask, “Why did you do that/put up with that?” Instead, say, “Thank you for trusting me with this. It must be hard to share; I know how much you care for them.” Whether it’s a trusted adult, a friend, or a professional, support matters. 

 

Love is not about power or fear. It is an ongoing practice—something we nurture and refine over time through our actions and choices. It’s about mutual care, respect, and safety. This year, let’s commit to showing love with action every day. Because the best gift we can give our young people is the knowledge and confidence to expect and demand healthy relationships. 

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Stories Untold: Breaking the Silence of Sexual Trauma in the Black Community

by Susan Nerenbaum in Survivor Stories & Advocacy

Stories Untold: Breaking the Silence of Sexual Trauma in the Black Community

Erica Legons

Erica Legons
Counselor/Therapist

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Maryam Jordan
Professional Education & Training Services

 

Sexual trauma, in all its devastating forms, leaves deep scars on its victims.For members of marginalized communities, particularly within the Black community, the journey to acknowledge and heal from this trauma is further complicated by cultural stigmas, shame, fear of  judgment, and systemic barriers. This silence, perpetuated by distrust in institutions and invalidation from even close circles, often leaves victims to suffer alone.

Intergenerational trauma plays a significant role in this cycle of silence. Defined by the American Psychological Association (APA) as “the transmission of psychological consequences stemming from an injury, attack, or systemic oppression across generations; intergenerational trauma includes the unresolved wounds of sexual violence”. Within the Black community, the echoes of historical oppression compound this pain, reinforcing patterns of silence and secrecy.
 

The Depth of Trauma

To fully understand the depth of sexual trauma in the Black community, we must confront the stark realities. The statistics reveal a sobering truth: for every Black woman who reports being raped, at least 15 others remain silent. By adulthood, one in four Black girls will have experienced sexual abuse, and 40% to 60% of Black women report coercive sexual contact before the age of 18. These violations often persist into adulthood, with 35% of Black women enduring contact sexual violence in their lifetime and one in five surviving rape. 

The experiences of Black men also shed light on the prevalence of violence. Nearly 40.1% of Black men report physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, and nearly 15% have endured intimate partner sexual violence. Behind these harrowing numbers lies a shared reality: systemic racism. Policies and practices born of systemic inequities contribute to heightened rates of violence and erect barriers to accessing care and justice. The result is a perpetuation of harm, isolation, and mistrust. 

Breaking the silence requires us to name these truths and acknowledge how deeply rooted trauma affects our communities. Many of us grew up hearing phrases like, “Oh, they got mental issues,” or “That’s just how they are,” masking the reality of trauma manifesting in our families. These dismissals often obscured the presence of intergenerational trauma, leaving its destructive patterns unchallenged.
  

The Ongoing Cycle 

 Why does this cycle persist? Is it ignorance? Denial? Fear? Shame? Perhaps it is all of these things, but above all, silence plays the most significant role. Within the Black community, silence has become an illusion of safety—an attempt to shield ourselves from pain—but it has only deepened the suffering. Acknowledging the trauma of sexual violence feels overwhelming, but avoidance perpetuates the harm. 

Encouraging silence sends a harmful message to victims. It dismisses their pain, erases their experiences, and denies them the opportunity to heal. Confronting this silence is not easy, but it is essential. It is through recognition, accountability, and collective action that we can dismantle the shame surrounding sexual trauma and illuminate a path to healing.

 

A Way Forward 

As a community, we can reclaim power by making room for the stories of survivors and ensuring they are met with compassion and support. Acknowledgment is a transformative first step; it opens the door to healing, empowerment, and change. By breaking the silence, we create space for hope and resilience, ensuring that the voices of victims are not just heard but uplifted. 

The bridge to hope begins with us—when we listen, believe, and stand together. Let us move forward with a commitment to breaking cycles of silence, holding space for survivors, and fostering a community that acknowledges our pain while building pathways to healing. In this acknowledgment, we find the strength to create a future where stories untold no longer linger in the shadows but instead inspire change and resilience in the light. 

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