The Resilience of Traditions
By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia
Traditions form the backbone of our cultural and personal identities. They bring meaning, a sense of belonging, and a unity that ties people together. Whether it is a holiday tradition, a secret family recipe, or a communal ritual, traditions are much more than something you do once a year or once a week. When traumatic events disrupt our traditions, we may feel ungrounded or untethered. Understanding the meaning of our traditions and knowing how to recreate them if needed is essential for healing and resilience.
Traditions frequently provide structure and familiarity- they are something we frequently look forward to all year long. During times of stability, traditions offer joy and connection but when hardship occurs, they can become a source of comfort, a reminder that some aspects of life remain constant despite the chaos.
But what happens when our traditions do not get to remain constant due to the aftermath of trauma?
The individuals and families we serve at Mosaic Georgia each year have experienced profound trauma. For some of these survivors, it will be impossible for them to continue their established practices or traditions. Not only do they face logistical barriers to carrying out a beloved tradition (financial challenges, employment requirements, relocation, loss of familial support, etc.), but the emotional weight of the trauma may also alter the way the traditions are perceived. Practices that once brought joy may trigger feelings of sadness, guilt, and anger.
Most of the traditions my family celebrated occurred in November and December. I vividly recall the first holiday season after my November 2004 disclosure of sexual abuse. I remember the uncertainty I felt as my family gathered to enjoy a meal on Thanksgiving day, a meal my abuser had joined us for years. Then, on Christmas morning, my siblings and I woke up in a different house than we had so many years prior. There were family celebrations we did not participate in because we were no longer a family. In the midst of the gratitude for my newfound safety and security, there was grief that hovered in all spaces I walked. Some of my beloved traditions I had to learn to grieve and let go.
Trauma may dismantle life as one knows it, but traditions can act as an anchor amid the storm. Preserving and renewing traditions in the aftermath of trauma requires intention and flexibility. It involves recognizing the values of these practices while being open to adaptation. Here are a few steps to ensure traditions remain a source of strength, rather than a trigger.
- Reflect on Meaning: Revisit the core purpose of the tradition and explore how it can be maintained in a way that feels authentic to current circumstances.
- Maybe Thanksgiving was always celebrated at a location that now brings many trauma triggers. Reflect on the meaning of the tradition and put a focus on recognizing that the celebration is more about spending time with loved ones than a physical location. Maybe choose to celebrate somewhere different moving forward.
- Invite Collaboration: Involve family members or community members in reimagining the tradition, ensuring it meets collective needs and preferences.
- This gives everyone an opportunity to identify how the traumatic event has impacted them. Brainstorm with friends, family, faith leaders, contacts from support organizations, and other trusted people in your network on creative ideas to honor tradition in a new way.
- Embrace New Elements: Incorporate elements that acknowledge the impact of the trauma, such as moments of reflection or acts of gratitude.
- Identify how you can honor the resilience of yourself, others, or the community. What will help you hold both grief and gratitude? For example, there may be sadness in the loss of a holiday ritual that once was familiar and cherished. Honor that grief and mourn that loss. But let’s say you found healing in the arts–maybe create a tradition of attending a holiday theater performance or art show or that symbolizes and celebrates the part of you that found strength and new life in these activities.
Traditions are more than routines; they are living expressions of who we are. Even in the face of trauma, they have the power to evolve and endure, which can remind us of our own capacity for resilience and renewal.
Kendall Wolz heads up the Mental Health and Wellness team that provides individual, family, and group therapy to those seeking care at Mosaic Georgia. As a survivor herself, she has a unique insight into the challenges of living with past trauma, how it impacts lives daily, and what the process of healing truly looks like. Her personal website, Brave Girl, Speak unpacks some of the complex issues that come along with being a survivor of sexual violence. Visit Kendall’s site to read more about her personal journey healing from trauma and peeling the layers to reclaim her true self.
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