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SANE Spotlight: Remember the SANEs during National Nurses Week

by brian in HEALTH

SANE Spotlight: Remember the SANEs during National Nurses Week

SANE Spotlight: Remember the SANEs during National Nurses Week

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

Mosaic Georgia SANEs in action. From left to right: Melissa Drinkard, Kathy Carter, Teresa Bullard

As National Nurses Week is upon us, we call attention to a small but mighty forensic nursing specialty: Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANEs). SANEs are specially trained registered nurses who provide compassionate care to survivors of sexual violence including assault, abuse, and sex trafficking.

The SANE practice is at the intersection of health care and criminal investigation. Their patients are both people and evidence. They collect evidence, document injuries, and provide treatment and support to survivors in a way that is trauma-informed and respectful. When cases proceed to court, SANEs are often called to testify in proceedings.

Kathy Carter, director of Forensic Medical Services, is often asked why she chose to practice as a nurse in such a difficult specialty. Kathy shares her Why: “While I cannot end sexualized violence, I can offer trauma informed care to patients after an assault or on-going abuse which promotes a feeling of safety, empowerment and healing. This level of care can make a HUGE difference in the trajectory of the patient’s journey.”

Victims of sex crimes are more likely to report the assaults and participate in investigations after receiving trauma-informed care from SANE and advocates. Like all people who seek medical care, the experience is more effective when the care providers lead with listening and believing.

Mosaic Georgia was the first Sexual Assault Center in Georgia to develop the community-based SANE/medical forensic program. In 1993 (then Gwinnett Rape Crisis), we treated our first patient/victim of rape in our center. Over the last 30 years, our SANEs have provided more than 6,000 medical forensic exams to people ranging in age from 3 months to 90 years. The medical care is enhanced with victim and family advocacy, mental health services, and other supports in one location.

To respond to calls 24/7, the community relies on committed SANEs who go on-call after hours and weekends and respond to our center when needed. These are special people. If you meet a SANE, let them know you appreciate their dedication.

Mosaic Georgia’s SANE Success Institute professional education, peer review, and an online community for SANE practitioners. It is a lively forum of support and connection for SANEs across Georgia and nearby states. For more information, https://www.mosaicgeorgia.org/education-training/

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Gen Z And Self-Esteem: The Kids Are (Gonna Be) Alright

by brian in HEALTH

Gen Z And Self-Esteem: The Kids Are (Gonna Be) Alright

Gen Z And Self-Esteem: The Kids Are (Gonna Be) Alright

By Ashia Gallo
Wholeness Collective Coordinator at Mosaic Georgia

May is National Teen Self-Esteem Month!

What better time to raise awareness on the importance of our youth feeling self-aware, confident, and healthy as they grow to rule this world someday. It’s been a few decades now since an iconic diva instructed us to teach children well, let them lead the way, and to hold up a mirror for them to see their own beauty. But in order to guide, we must understand Generation Z, or Gen Z, which comprises those born between 1996 and 2015.

As a 30-year-old Millennial, it blows my mind to watch my “Gen Z” nieces whose diapers I changed evolve into young womanhood. It’s fascinating to see their growing awareness of their own bodies, opinions, and talents. Especially in a world that continues to change at a mind-numbing rate!

Each generation has its gripes with authority and the stack of cards they feel they were dealt – it’s a natural rite of passage! Gen Z, however, is determined to break generational limits like injustice, intolerance, and bootstrap myths. On a large scale, their worldview seems to encompass inclusivity, sensitivity, and a refusal to shy away from tough societal realities.

A major strength of the Gen Z generation includes their willingness to accept all layers of their identities (think gender and sexual fluidity), despite outdated “social norms”. This openness applies to how mental health and self-esteem is discussed in youth culture today. Gen Z is open and eager to explore their struggles with anxiety, depression, trauma, and triggers. They also seem to not only question authority, but understand the unresolved issues of previous generations in order to break the proverbial chain.

Studies show Gen Z to be the least confident generation. Their progressive political and social views are challenged by the intense pressures of being a young person in 2023. Causes include: grossly skewed coming-of-age milestones interrupted by a global pandemic; very real struggles with anxiety and depression; lack of close family units and community; and less enthusiasm about the future than past generations.

The impacts of the Internet and social media have also been discussed since their inception in the 2000s. However, I’m afraid we are just touching the surface of the long-term effects of our (now portable) 24-hour news cycles and problematic portrayals of false, flawless on-screen lifestyles.

For school-age Gen Zers, the pressure of perfection runs deep. When I think of my own self-esteem struggles during teen years, the constant threat of permanent exposure of my most painful experiences existing forever on the Internet is unfathomable. The darker sides of technology – mob-like bullying, sexual exploitation, cancel culture, and abuse – have impacted our kids’ self-esteem deeply. Swiping, liking, and canceling at will is not only limited to Gen Zers. The increased dependence we have on our screens has led to a decrease in face-to-face human interaction and ease of conversation – especially for our youth.

Self-esteem is dependent upon having a sense of belonging, identity, and self-confidence. While Gen Z does struggle with these areas, not all is lost. This new generation is full of hard-working, pragmatic fighters. Even when their voices shake, they believe in activism and being advocates for human rights, in both large and small ways. They take up for themselves and their peers. They demand historically accurate classrooms, socially aware campuses, and respectful workplaces, despite age or skill level.

It gives me hope that this generation is willing to take a stand on anything and everything, from racism and transphobia, to climate change and equal pay. Their ability to survive and thrive will surely shape the future of society in ways that will move humanity onwards and upwards.

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Trauma and the Brain: A Look at How Traumatic Events Shape Memory and Perception

by brian in HEALTH

Trauma and the Brain: A Look at How Traumatic Events Shape Memory and Perception

Trauma and the Brain: A Look at How Traumatic Events Shape Memory and Perception

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

At the age of 13, I disclosed years of sexual abuse by my stepfather. Unfortunately, the rural area I lived in did not yet follow the robust Child Advocacy Center model that is the protocol today. This meant that I had multiple interviews by various investigative parties. I can recall extreme frustration when I was asked “when did the abuse start, how old were you, how many times did it happen?”

I felt intense fear that people would not believe me because I could not give the answers to those seemingly simple questions. The reality is that my brain did not file the memory of the first incident, or subsequent incidents of abuse as a biographical memory where the date and incident number were important.

Instead, what I could tell investigators included: the show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, was playing in the background, what my favorite pair of pajamas I wore most frequently looked like, what the abuse felt like to my body, and the fear that swept over me.

This is an example of how trauma memories are often stored.

Let’s explore how this happens.

The Brain: One Fascinating Organ

Weighing on average 3 pounds, the brain is the most complex organ within the body. It processes every piece of information received through the five senses and communicates with the rest of the body to keep us safe and alive.

How do experiences impact our brains?
Decades of research have shown that trauma has a significant negative impact on various structures within the brain. Before discussing those impacts, here is a look at the healthy brain functions that are harmed by trauma.

  • Brain Stem: Responsible for our survival instincts and functions such as heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, consciousness, and sleep.
  • Midbrain: Stores memory, processes emotions, and serves as a connection between our cortex and our brain stem.
  • Cortex: The most highly evolved structure of the brain, responsible for cognitive processing, decision making, and controlling thoughts and emotions.

Fight or Flight Leads the Way

When a person experiences an actual or perceived threat to their safety or wellbeing, the lower part of the brain, the brain stem, becomes highly activated to ensure survival. It may respond to the threat in a variety of ways.

An event like seeing a bear on a hike, witnessing a crime, or experiencing a sexual assault may elicit a desire to either fight with intensity, get away from the situation as quickly as possible, become frozen or paralyzed, fawn (go along with what is happening), or faint.

If the traumatic or threatening event is survived through a fight/flight/freeze/fawn/faint response, the brain has performed its job well.

How our brain responds to trauma is not a cognitive choice.

Temporarily Turning Off the Lights

Decision making happens in the prefrontal cortex, near the forehead – sometimes referred to as the “thinking area” of the brain. When a threat is perceived and the body goes into survival mode, the cortex essentially goes offline, halting its ability to communicate with other parts of the brain. This conserves energy and allows the body to focus on survival, until the perceived threat is gone. For example, during a traumatic event the brain would not have the ability to think through and solve a word problem, or the body would not put effort into digesting food. Until the threat subsides, the brain and body direct their many resources strictly towards survival.

The Brain’s Megaphone

What alerts the body to go into fight or flight mode? A small, almond shaped structure deep within the midbrain called the amygdala is responsible for sounding the alarm. The amygdala sends messages to other parts of the brain that activate various elements of the fight or flight response when a potential threat is present. Functions like increased heart rate and the release of stress hormones allow the body to get itself to safety.

It is in this part of the brain where memories are attached to emotion. Traumatic memories get stuck in the emotional memory of the amygdala rather than reaching the hippocampus, the area of the brain that records the details – like the what, when and where of an event.

So for survivors the “memory” of a trauma often emerges as a strong emotional or sensory experience. Unfortunately, trauma shuts down our ability to integrate events episodically which creates a barrier to recalling things like dates and locations.

This is why trauma survivors often keenly remember a smell, like the smoke of a house burning or the cologne of a rapist, but not what time it was when the trauma occurred.

The Trauma of Disclosing Trauma

Without understanding what happens within the brain during a trauma, there exists a risk of doing more harm to people who have experienced horrific events. When survivors are expected to recall the traumatic event in an episodic manner (the when, where, why), they become set up for judgement, disappointment, frustration, and even disbelief despite the reality that the memory is not consolidated and stored in a way that can be recollected.

However, opportunities for people to disclose their memory of what occurred can be provided by eliciting the information they can recall – how they felt, what their senses noticed – while assessing whether they can also access any of the biographical data.

As this information becomes more accessible and understood by the general population, an opportunity presents to move away from some of the stigmas and widespread misconceptions that plague survivors.

Helpful and Informative Sources

A video illustrating how trauma affects the brain can be seen here. 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk 

Dr. Seigel’s hand model of the brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-m2YcdMdFw 

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-effect-of-ptsd-on-the-brain-2797643 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/202106/understanding-the-trauma-brain 

At the age of 13, I disclosed years of sexual abuse by my stepfather. Unfortunately, the rural area I lived in did not yet follow the robust Child Advocacy Center model that is the protocol today. This meant that I had multiple interviews by various investigative parties. I can recall extreme frustration when I was asked “when did the abuse start, how old were you, how many times did it happen?”

I felt intense fear that people would not believe me because I could not give the answers to those seemingly simple questions. The reality is that my brain did not file the memory of the first incident, or subsequent incidents of abuse as a biographical memory where the date and incident number were important.

Instead, what I could tell investigators included: the show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, was playing in the background, what my favorite pair of pajamas I wore most frequently looked like, what the abuse felt like to my body, and the fear that swept over me.

This is an example of how trauma memories are often stored.

Let’s explore how this happens.

The Brain: One Fascinating Organ

Weighing on average 3 pounds, the brain is the most complex organ within the body. It processes every piece of information received through the five senses and communicates with the rest of the body to keep us safe and alive.

How do experiences impact our brains?
Decades of research have shown that trauma has a significant negative impact on various structures within the brain. Before discussing those impacts, here is a look at the healthy brain functions that are harmed by trauma.

  • Brain Stem: Responsible for our survival instincts and functions such as heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, consciousness, and sleep.
  • Midbrain: Stores memory, processes emotions, and serves as a connection between our cortex and our brain stem.
  • Cortex: The most highly evolved structure of the brain, responsible for cognitive processing, decision making, and controlling thoughts and emotions.

Fight or Flight Leads the Way

When a person experiences an actual or perceived threat to their safety or wellbeing, the lower part of the brain, the brain stem, becomes highly activated to ensure survival. It may respond to the threat in a variety of ways.

An event like seeing a bear on a hike, witnessing a crime, or experiencing a sexual assault may elicit a desire to either fight with intensity, get away from the situation as quickly as possible, become frozen or paralyzed, fawn (go along with what is happening), or faint.

If the traumatic or threatening event is survived through a fight/flight/freeze/fawn/faint response, the brain has performed its job well.

How our brain responds to trauma is not a cognitive choice.

Temporarily Turning Off the Lights

Decision making happens in the prefrontal cortex, near the forehead – sometimes referred to as the “thinking area” of the brain. When a threat is perceived and the body goes into survival mode, the cortex essentially goes offline, halting its ability to communicate with other parts of the brain. This conserves energy and allows the body to focus on survival, until the perceived threat is gone. For example, during a traumatic event the brain would not have the ability to think through and solve a word problem, or the body would not put effort into digesting food. Until the threat subsides, the brain and body direct their many resources strictly towards survival.

The Brain’s Megaphone

What alerts the body to go into fight or flight mode? A small, almond shaped structure deep within the midbrain called the amygdala is responsible for sounding the alarm. The amygdala sends messages to other parts of the brain that activate various elements of the fight or flight response when a potential threat is present. Functions like increased heart rate and the release of stress hormones allow the body to get itself to safety.

It is in this part of the brain where memories are attached to emotion. Traumatic memories get stuck in the emotional memory of the amygdala rather than reaching the hippocampus, the area of the brain that records the details – like the what, when and where of an event.

So for survivors the “memory” of a trauma often emerges as a strong emotional or sensory experience. Unfortunately, trauma shuts down our ability to integrate events episodically which creates a barrier to recalling things like dates and locations.

This is why trauma survivors often keenly remember a smell, like the smoke of a house burning or the cologne of a rapist, but not what time it was when the trauma occurred.

The Trauma of Disclosing Trauma

Without understanding what happens within the brain during a trauma, there exists a risk of doing more harm to people who have experienced horrific events. When survivors are expected to recall the traumatic event in an episodic manner (the when, where, why), they become set up for judgement, disappointment, frustration, and even disbelief despite the reality that the memory is not consolidated and stored in a way that can be recollected.

However, opportunities for people to disclose their memory of what occurred can be provided by eliciting the information they can recall – how they felt, what their senses noticed – while assessing whether they can also access any of the biographical data.

As this information becomes more accessible and understood by the general population, an opportunity presents to move away from some of the stigmas and widespread misconceptions that plague survivors.

Helpful and Informative Sources

A video illustrating how trauma affects the brain can be seen here. 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk 

Dr. Seigel’s hand model of the brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-m2YcdMdFw 

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-effect-of-ptsd-on-the-brain-2797643 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/202106/understanding-the-trauma-brain 

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Amy Lewis – Yoga and Sacred Space

by brian in HEALTH

Amy Lewis – Yoga and Sacred Space

Ashia Headshot

By Ashia Gallo
Wholeness Collective Coordinator at Mosaic Georgia

Amy Lewis has been drawn to spirituality since she was a child. Born in Tyler, Texas, Amy describes her childhood home as tense and a bit stressful. Religion became her first escape. As the youngest of her siblings, Amy lone followed her mother into the Southern Baptist Church. She loved the service-oriented part of religion, and by the time she was a teenager, felt “called to the ministry”.

“I knew I wanted to do counseling and recreation, I just wasn’t sure how they would fit together,” remembers Amy. “And I wondered – could women even go to seminary?”

Amy got her answer as she pursued her education. She earned a bachelor’s in social work and master’s at Seminary in Marriage and Family Counseling and Religious Education. She gained a ton of experience as an adult hospice chaplain, a pediatric oncology chaplain, as well as opportunities in community pastoral care. Amy began working with survivors of sexual trauma during her master’s practicum in 1994.

“It’s a privilege to listen to people’s stories,” Amy says. “Being in spaces where people are grieving, and having the honor of walking alongside them as they figure out how to continue to live with loss sparked my passion.”

It was also during this time, after Amy married a man she met at seminary, that she moved to Decatur, GA. Living in a very diverse and free community, Amy began to ask more questions about herself for the first time. Though she and her husband had a ton in common (including a baby girl born in 2001), Amy began realizing some truths about her sexuality.

“My pregnancy was one of the first times I paid attention to my body,” recalls Amy. “It was also the first time I took a yoga class! It was a pivotal moment of finally realizing ‘there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a lesbian!’”
Amy came out around the same time she was being ordained, her daughter was 18 months, and the family had moved to a new city. It was challenging to find a therapist who understood and believed her about her sexuality in the small Midwest town. With grit and determination, she found a therapist who supported her and her husband through their divorce with the primary goal of becoming the best co-parents they could possibly be for their daughter.

Amy finally felt she was living her truth, and after another decade of pastoral care work, Amy needed to expand her understanding and experience of embodiment practices.

“I had done grief and loss work as a chaplain for about 20 years at that point. It is important for me to do embodiment work. I needed to move and metabolize the pain and grief that I had experienced personally and vicariously.”

After a happy marriage to her now wife, another child, and a decade off her mat, Amy was ready to embrace her yoga practice again. As she sought an embodiment practice, her first yoga teacher, Kath Meadows, also worked with incarcerated women in Maryland. Amy learned a lot through Kath about creating space within ourselves and was inspired by the abundant ways yoga was making a difference in the lives of people who were suffering.

“My life shifted when I dove into embodiment,” says Amy. “Studying how the body transforms through movement felt like a natural next step in my personal and professional spiritual development.”

Upon completing her RYT 200 certification in 2014, Amy has been dedicated to teaching yoga in many mental wellness programs. She worked at a school for traumatized children, where she taught yoga and mindfulness as a part of teaching coping skills.

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3 Steps to Protect Our Kids from Abusers: On-line and In-person

by brian in SAFETY

Someone’s Gotta Say It

3 Steps to Protect Our Kids from Abusers: On-line and In-person

Marina Headshot (1)

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director at Mosaic Georgia

A friend used to be a kid who went to the same school or lived down the block. Today, friends are met online with few, if any, community supports. This is a predator’s playground.

“It’s not IF, but WHEN” your child will be exposed to people who may want to harm them. As parents and guardians, we must adapt our strategies to protect children. This means we are going to get uncomfortable. It is easiest if we start talking about physical, emotional, and sexual health with kids from an early age as a normal part of living. Kids get messages about their changing bodies, their body autonomy, and relationships every single day. Even the most engaged, helicopter parents cannot control the harmful messages kids receive.

“Stranger Danger” doesn’t help because over 90% of sexual abuse/harm is done by someone with easy access to your child. Someone they don’t think of as a stranger. A friend used to be a kid who went to the same school or lived down the block. Today, a “friend” is someone they “met” online – via SnapChat, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, WhatsApp, Kik, Discord, Kanakuk, Reddit, Yik Yak, and numerous dating/meet-up platforms.
Most of the youth we see at Mosaic Georgia were abused by trusted adults in their lives. A growing number were groomed by people they met online. You may have seen the show “Catfish.” It documents people who create fake identities and personas online to deceive people looking for relationships.

It starts out seemingly innocent and the abuser cultivates an emotional attachment without ever being in the same room. Then manipulation to send photos, videos, and then plan to meet. If they get uncomfortable and try to disengage, threats to publicize images/conversations or send to parents/school/employer are used.

So what to do? Resilience is built through factual information, a sense of self-worth and belonging, and coping strategies.

1. Don’t Worry, Get Ready! Talk With Your Kids provides great tips and information for parents and caregivers to nurture education, healthy behaviors, and relationships throughout a child’s development. Age-appropriate information that tracks a child’s developmental curiosity help grown-ups feel more comfortable with the conversations. Please, use anatomical words to describe all body parts – not just eye, nose, ear, hand, knee, etc. The more you normalize names for genitals, the easier your conversations will be as the kids grow.

2. Talk with your kids – regularly, over time. When you look, you will see prompts almost every day to explore situations, perspectives, healthy alternatives. Ask, “have you seen this?” “what do you think of …?” “how do you think they feel?” “what would you do?” Listen as much as you speak. Acknowledge the inevitable eye-rolls, and let them know you are trying. You love them and want to keep them safe.

3. Practice what you preach. Encourage kids to trust their intuition about their personal safety. Encourage them to use their voice. A real friend won’t ask you to do something that you are uncomfortable with or don’t want to do. Help them determine their personal physical boundaries with family, friends, and others. Don’t force them to hug someone they don’t want to. (You can tell the overbearing adult that you appreciate their support in helping the kids manage their personal boundaries.) Let them know that IF something happens, you will be there for them and they won’t get in trouble if they tell.

Teens and adults who derive gratification from abusing and controlling others – especially kids – look for vulnerabilities that open doors for access – kids who are hungry for attention, less likely to assert themselves, or tell someone about the “special” relationship.

You can provide protective factors that will reduce their risk and improve their recovery should such harms occur. Remember: the responsibility always rests with the abuser.

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Why Kids Don’t Disclose Abuse: Ambivalence

by brian in HEALTH

Why Kids Don’t Disclose Abuse: Ambivalence

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

am·biv·a·lence
/amˈbiv(ə)ləns/

noun

1. the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.

One of the hallmark experiences of child sexual abuse is ambivalence. While some people still hold tightly to the idea that abuse occurs at the hands of the creepy, old man driving an ice cream van, many people have accepted the reality that abuse most often occurs within relationships. Abuse perpetrated by a stranger far less frequently results in feelings of ambivalence compared to abuse perpetrated by someone known, loved, and trusted. Ambivalence is a gift to the abuser, but superglue to the lips of the victim.

No one really likes ambivalent feelings. If you’re like me (as an adult), I just want to know things. I don’t enjoy being caught in the middle. I didn’t know what I felt as a kid had a name, and I certainly didn’t know how to navigate the complex and confusing feelings I held. Many adults struggle to navigate ambivalence. It can leave us feeling paralyzed. As a kid, it was incapacitating.

My abuser was someone I loved, trusted, and wanted to know and be known by. He was someone I saw every single day. My family accepted him and welcomed him.

If you’ve followed my blog or read previous posts, you know the excitement I expressed for the popular television show, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. I literally could not wait for the show to air in 1999. We only had antennas and two televisions in the trailer where I could watch the show. One television was in the living room but that is where my siblings often did their homework in the evening. The other television was in my mom and stepdad’s bedroom. When my stepdad invited me to watch the show, it seemed like the best of both worlds. Time with the person I trusted and loved AND I got to watch what I believed would be the best show ever.

It seems strange to label sexual abuse as gentle, but from a physical perspective, it was, in the beginning. I didn’t leave the room that first night in any kind of pain. But emotionally, I was filled with ambivalence.

I LOVED the show, Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

I ENJOYED getting the undivided attention of my stepdad.

I TRUSTED my stepdad would never do anything to harm me.

I was DISGUSTED by the evidence of the abuse on me.

I was CONFUSED by the passive threat he made before I left the room.

I FEARED someone would find out about our new secret.

At eight years old, these were strong, complex emotions that totally overwhelmed my system. I could not assess what was true, right, or healthy. As a result of the ambivalence, I had to rest on my default belief which was based on a general trust of people older than me. I needed those people to survive. If I could not trust them, how would I make it in the world?

Kids should be able to long for and love quality time with a parent. It is normal and healthy for a child to desire those things. My need for that perception of love was normal. I chose what was normal over and over- quality time with my stepdad and getting to watch my favorite show. Though it came with other hard feelings, the desire for love and acceptance won, over and over again.
So, ambivalence kept me quiet for a long time. And it keeps a lot of kids quiet.

When you hear a child disclose abuse, please know they have likely fought through the power of ambivalence. It is an incredible step of courage and bravery to go against the defaults to tell their story. Please accept that the ambivalence will not disappear overnight. Healing takes time.

Kendall Wolz heads up the Mental Health and Wellness team that provides individual, family, and group therapy to those seeking care at Mosaic Georgia. As a survivor herself, she has a unique insight into the challenges of living with past trauma, how it impacts lives daily, and what the process of healing truly looks like. Her personal website, Brave Girl, Speak unpacks some of the complex issues that come along with being a survivor of sexual violence. Visit Kendall’s site to read more about her personal journey healing from trauma and peeling the layers to reclaim her true self.

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Life is a Dance

by brian in SAFETY

Mayra Paradas: Life is a Dance

Women’s History Month Feature

An interview with Dance Teacher Mayra Paradas and Ashia Gallo, MPA, Wholeness Collective Coordinator

Mayra Paradas is the passionate, bi-lingual dance teacher and personal trainer who has brought new and fun ways to heal to Mosaic Georgia’s Wholeness Collective! For Womens’ History Month, we are proud to feature Mayra and capture her thoughts on womanhood, making a living while prioritizing your dreams, and advice she’d give to women and survivors of trauma.

—

What is one thing you love about being a woman?

How we can be nurturing and strong at the same time – We can be a mother and wife and build businesses and a home.

When did your interest in dance begin?

I always knew I wanted to try dance since I was a child, but we couldn’t afford it at the time. Then, in high school dance was offered as a main class I could take. Every day, for four years. For free!

My dance teacher at the time, Natalie Cruse, really encouraged my passion. An honor in our dance class was developing your own choreography to be performed at the annual show. I auditioned twice and didn’t make it. But the third time, during Senior Year, I was featured in a solo/trio dance that I created! After that, I was obsessed with dance and learning. I was more confident and would be dancing in the aisles at Walmart!

Did you end up choosing a fine arts school post-high school?

No because I hadn’t been studying dance long enough. I ended up with an academic and dance scholarship to Lawson State Community College in Birmingham, Alabama after high school. I joined the dance team, worked with a nonprofit dance studio, and started doing dance ministry for multiple churches. It was one of the best times in my life. I was offered dance captain at school but had to turn it down my second year. Life was changing…

Yes, please share about your experiences as a young wife and mom!

My husband Joel and I were set up for high school prom. Super awkward, but we liked each other and come from the same [Dominican] culture, so it worked. We married and had my daughter in my early 20s, while I started college the same year. My son came a couple of years later. It was VERY HARD to juggle everything. Creating a family and getting my education at the same time.

It was also hard for Joel to get used to it from a cultural perspective. He’d grown up around housewives. But my mom was a businesswoman – she had a hair salon in Birmingham and owns a restaurant in Buford, GA called Oregano Latin Bar and Grill that specializes in Colombian and Dominican food – so I never knew any different. If I could change anything, I’d maybe not do so much so young!

Can women have it all?

It depends on your expectations; you can get close, but too many dreams make it difficult. Putting effort into one area takes away from another. You cannot do everything perfectly. Stick to the top 3 things that mean the most to you: for me, its God, family, business.

What is one piece of advice you would give your daughter on how to navigate the world as a strong woman?

Follow your dreams with dignity and standards. Don’t be manipulated into saying yes to things you don’t want to do.

Where are things today with your family and your work?

My daughter is 10 and my son is 7 (sometimes I can’t believe I’ve been a mom for a decade!). I graduate from SCAD this Spring. LOL Schools (Live Online Learning) is my next venture. I want to create an online school that caters to children ages 4-17. My husband and I taught online while living in Punta Cana, DR during COVID, and really loved it! LOL will offer activity classes in language, art and design, school subjects, and life skills (cooking/organizing/etc.). It’ll be like Outschool.

How do you prioritize yourself so that you do not pour from an empty cup?

In order to give your best to others, give the best to yourself. Be an example. Eat, rest, and exercise well, then motivate others to do the same things. Lack of these things will cause unintentional mental health problems.

When is the last time you cried? Why?

Last big cry: Years ago, in the shower after a diagnosis with cancer (Mayra was diagnosed with spindle cell sarcoma while living in the DR. She had a golf-ball size tumor removed and is in remission). Last small cry: Feeling that the huge pressures and expectations that ruled my life were misunderstood.

What advice would you give to survivors of trauma?

There’s only so much you can do and what others can do to motivate you. You must find something bigger than yourself. Willpower only takes you so far. For me, it’s been my faith in Jesus.

To get in touch with Mayra and learn more about her dance and personal training offerings, email her at mayra.fitlife@gmail.com or contact her on Facebook at  https://www.facebook.com/mparadas1.

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Sexual Abuse & Disabilities: Myths & Realities

by brian in SAFETY

Someone’s Gotta Say It:

Sexual Abuse & Disabilities: Myths & Realities

Marina Headshot

By Marina Sampanes Peed, Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

March is Disabilities Awareness Month, so it is a good time to dispel some myths and talk about how sexual abuse harms many of our most vulnerable kids, friends and neighbors. Disabilities affect a wide range of people with varying degrees of severity. Disabilities include impairments of the body structure/function, or mental function, that limit activities, restrict participation and ability to interact with the world. Not all disabilities are visible to the average observer.

What is Sexual Abuse?

Sexual harms can take many forms including unwanted touching, groping, sexual harassment, sexual coercion, sexual assault, and rape. Other “non-contact” forms include taking explicit images, showing pornography, exposing one’s genitals or asking them to expose themselves.

Invisible Victims & Hidden Harms

In 2022, approximately 15% of the clients we served at Mosaic Georgia had one or more disabilities. Our advocates provide support to the primary victim and non-offending caregivers or loved ones. Working beside survivors, families, law enforcement, and care providers, we see the surprise, fear, and bewilderment after a disclosure. Here are the most common misconceptions we hear, and the untold realities regarding them.

Myth #1: People with disabilities are not at risk for sexual abuse because they are not sexual beings nor sexually active.

Reality: People with disabilities have the same sexual desires and needs as non-disabled people.  Because this myth is prevalent, few children and youth with disabilities are taught about their own sexual development and health of their bodies. This information vacuum makes them more vulnerable to people who befriend (groom) them for abusive purposes.

Myth #2: Sexual abuse of people with disabilities is rare.

Reality: Most women with disabilities (83%) will be sexually assaulted in their lives. Half of girls who are deaf have been sexually assaulted compared to 25% of girls who are hearing; 54% of boys who are deaf have been sexually abused compared to 10% of boys who are hearing.

Myth #3: Any sex activity with a disabled person is rape because people with disabilities are not capable of giving consent.

Reality: Consent is a complex issue that depends on many factors, including the individual’s cognitive and communication abilities, understanding of the situation, and level of comfort and safety. While some may have difficulty with communication or decision-making, this does not mean that they are unable to consent to sexual activity. Just like everyone else, it is important to ensure that all parties involved in sexual activity are able to give informed and enthusiastic consent.

Myth #4: People with developmental disabilities are unreliable; they cannot communicate about sexual abuse or understand what is happening to them.

Reality:   Most can communicate about sexual abuse – either directly or indirectly. Some may communicate in nonverbal ways, such as through gestures, facial expressions, sign language or assistive technology. It is important for caregivers and advocates to be aware of these communication methods and to take them seriously. It is also important to recognize that people with intellectual or developmental disabilities may understand what is happening to them, even if they have difficulty communicating it.

Myth #5: People with disabilities are not attractive to sexual predators.

Reality: Sexual predators target vulnerable people. Because people with disabilities are often perceived as lacking agency and independence, they can be seen as easy targets for abuse. Issues such as social isolation, dependence on caregivers, lack of sexual health education, and limited resources/support make them more vulnerable to abuse.

Bonus Myth #6: People with disabilities cannot be sexual predators. 

Reality: People with disabilities can be both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse. It is important to recognize that sexual abuse is a complex issue and can occur in any type of relationship, including between people with disabilities. The Justice Department found that people with intellectual disabilities are even more likely to be raped by someone they know. For women without disabilities, the rapist is a stranger 24 percent of the time, but for a woman with an intellectual disability it is less than 14 percent of the time. Furthermore, often it’s another person with a disability — at a group home, or a day program, or work — who commits the assault. Compiled data from 500 cases of suspected abuse in 2016 showed that 42 percent of the suspected offenders were themselves people with intellectual disabilities. Staff made up 14 percent of the suspects; relatives were 12 percent; and friends, 11 percent. (Shapiro, 2018) 

While so many people with disabilities experience some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime, only 3% of sexual abuses are ever reported.  This makes a case for increasing awareness of the vulnerabilities, how, when, and where abuses occur, and also develop prevention strategies.

Let us work to create a society that ensures everyone is able to live free from abuse and harm.

 

For more information:

https://thearc.org/our-initiatives/criminal-justice/talk-about-sexual-violence/

www.disabilityjustice.org/sexual-abuse/#

https://www.unfpa.org/news/five-things-you-didnt-know-about-disability-and-sexual-violence

 

Shapiro, Joseph (2018)
NPR, The Sexual Assault Epidemic No One Talks About

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Reclaiming Safety Through Counseling

by brian in HEALTH

Reclaiming Safety Through Counseling

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz

In November 2022, Mosaic Georgia relaunched on-site counseling services for individuals and families who have experienced sexual violence. We are grateful to offer this service to continue the healing journey for those who seek care at Mosaic. Our unique, talented, and passionate staff provide individual, family, and group therapy.

Our team is ready to patiently and compassionately walk alongside individuals and families after the trauma of sexual violence. We truly understand the challenges this type of trauma brings and how it impacts lives daily.

Using trauma-focused interventions, we assist you in reclaiming safety, rebuilding health, and experiencing justice through healing.

One Size Does Not Fit All
Our staff utilizes models that we believe would be the best fit for each client. We do not have a “one size fits all” approach to therapy. Each of our therapists bring slightly different backgrounds and training which allows us the flexibility to match their skills with the client’s needs. All of our approaches are grounded in an understanding of how trauma impacts the whole person and the system to which they belong (family, friends, work, school, community, etc.). The therapeutic interventions seek not only to relieve the distressing symptoms a client experiences after trauma, but also to help them process the trauma so they can live free from the chains of trauma. Our philosophy is to meet each individual where they are in their healing journey and work closely with them to provide the necessary tools to reach their therapeutic goals.

Why Us?
We aren’t just here to help with symptom relief. We recognize that true healing requires a holistic approach. In addition to more traditional, clinical forms of therapy we work closely with our Wholeness Collective program to ensure clients have the opportunity to pursue nontraditional models of healing including trauma-informed yoga, restorative yoga, dance classes, and Finding Hope Support Groups.

Meet our Team
Kendall Wolz, LPC moved to Georgia and joined our staff in October 2022. Prior to joining Mosaic, she worked as the Center Director of a nonprofit organization in New Orleans that served individuals experiencing homelessness, struggling with addiction, and recovering from trafficking. She has her Masters of Arts in Counseling with a specialization in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is currently working on her PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision. Kendall comes to Mosaic with first hand experience of what it is like to be a client at a Child Advocacy Center. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, Kendall is trained in both Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), and Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI). Kendall loves all things coffee and reading a good book.

Hagikah Birden is a licensed master social worker and therapist working towards clinical licensure. She joined Mosaic in October 2022 after moving to Georgia from the San Francisco Bay Area, California. She has a Masters in Special Education and a Masters of Social Welfare (MSW). Prior to becoming a therapist, she was a special education teacher working with teens and adolescents with cognitive, developmental and behavioral disabilities. Hagikah has worked as a social worker, advocate and educator in schools, criminal legal settings, and with survivors/victims of sexual assault in the Bay Area. Her experiences have significantly shaped her passion for and understanding of how exposure to violence and abuse can impact the individual, family, and community. She is excited to continue this work in the South.

Emily Felton is a Therapist/Counselor for Mosaic Georgia. She is a Licensed Master Social Worker in Georgia and is currently working on her LCSW. Prior to joining the team, Emily gained experience as a hospice/medical social worker and as a mental health therapist in the prison system. She is excited to continue her social work journey with us by providing therapy to children, families, groups, and individuals that have experienced trauma. Her areas of focus include: trauma, crisis intervention, addiction, life adjustment difficulties, parenting issues, anxiety, depression, and death and dying, grief and loss, and self-harm. Emily loves family time and traveling.

Who We Serve
We currently accept clients ages 8 years and older who have been impacted by sexual trauma. We offer individual, family, and group therapy. Appointments are scheduled Monday-Friday between 9 am and 5 pm with some evening availability until 8 pm.

To receive more information about our counseling services, please visit our counseling webpage.

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February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: How Can Adults Help?

by brian in SAFETY

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: How Can Adults Help?

Co-authored by Marina Sampanes Peed and Amanda Makrogianis Mickelsen

One in three teens experiences verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse from a dating partner.

That’s a lot of young people.

Our society’s cultural norms foster these harms in a way that goes unnoticed, largely because these models are woven into the fabric of our collective mindset. Becoming aware of problematic norms and talking openly about their implications can help to change the conversation and lead to a shift towards healthy relationships.

What Exactly Is Teen Dating Violence?
Most people think of violence in the most visible form – physical harms. In fact, relationship violence includes many forms of violations of interpersonal trust and care. Dating violence (any relationship actually) may include verbal assaults and degradation, sexual coercion, assault, and abuse, psychological abuse, stalking, financial, and cyber-bullying.

The Norms We Know
The teen years are full of cognitive and physiological changes, hormonal evolutions and the navigation of social and structural expectations. Add to the mix that technology provides young people 24/7 access to pornography and constant sexual messages in marketing, social media, and entertainment…and quite the recipe emerges.

Pervasive cultural beliefs around sexuality and gender roles perpetuate unhealthy relationships and contribute to the normalization of dating violence among teens.

“Boys will be boys” and “She loves me” and “It’s not that bad”.

Society perpetuates beliefs that coercion is part of a mating dance. Girls learn very early to expect sexual aggression and violence while simultaneously being expected to prevent it.  When attachment occurs, it is tempting to excuse a partner’s harmful behavior.

The Cycle of Relationship Violence
The Teen Power and Control Wheel shows how the cycle perpetuates itself without intervention.

People who abuse may believe:

  • they possess their partner
  • strength equals physical aggressiveness
  • they have the right to control their partner in any way, including demanding intimacy
  • being a “nice guy” can cause young males to lose social capital

Their partners may believe:

  • their partner’s jealousy and possessiveness is romantic
  • they are “lucky” to have a cute, popular or powerful person “into them”
  • they are the ones responsible for solving problems in the relationship
  • abuse is normal because friends or other peers may also experience it

Our Impact
It is promising to know that this unhealthy mindset can merely be a developmental phase, leaving much opportunity for growth and change.

Young minds are like sponges absorbing information through societal observation – at home, within the family, and what is seen and read on TV, movies and in books. Their sense of self-worth is garnered from parents, family, friends and peer groups. Yet sex and consent are not topics that are talked about openly and can be seen as taboo in many households and societal institutions like church or school.

How Can Adults Provide Guidance?

  • Model healthy, nonviolent communication and self-respect
  • Be good listeners
  • Point out healthy relationships
  • Talk about the established cultural norms – and don’t be afraid to challenge them
  • Affirm individual worth and importance
  • Encourage young people to express their feelings
  • Provide tools to navigate various social settings
  • Offer a safe space for teens to talk among themselves

Challenging the Norms
Although parents may feel further away from their children during the teen years, it’s important to remember that their perceptions around established norms can shift as difficult conversations about dating violence are kept front and center. In the paraphrased words of Martin Luther King Jr. ‘our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter’.

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