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Beyond the Headlines: The Everyday Reality of Exploitation

by Ken Moua in Awareness & Education

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

Beyond the Headlines: The Everyday Reality of Exploitation 

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

The media is talking about Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell again. The outrage is real — but the truth is more uncomfortable: there are Jeffrey Epsteins in every community. 

They aren’t always billionaires or celebrities. Sometimes they’re neighbors, coaches, classmates, boyfriends, or trusted family friends. They use grooming techniques, power, fear, and — increasingly — social media to exploit children, teens, and adults. 

One man’s “party” is coercive assault and abuse of another person. When you see others as less than human, it is easier to believe you are entitled to their obedience, sex, or affection. Shame and silence support the cycle. Would you behave this way if your grandmother, mom or daughter were present?  

At Mosaic Georgia, we don’t need headlines to remind us of this reality. We see it every day. 

The 1st Six Months of 2025 

It can’t be that bad, some say. What are the numbers?  We keep track of our services – many developed from analyzing the data and identifying system gaps. Here is what courage and resilience looked like in Gwinnett in the first half of 2025:  

Safe to Say It Out Loud 

  • 271 children and teens sat in a safe room and told a trained professional what they had endured or witnessed. These brave conversations, called forensic interviews, often mark the first step toward safety, healing and justice. 
  • 158 survivors received immediate medical forensic exams after being assaulted. The patients ranged in age from 2 years to 61 years. Among the adults, 19 survivors chose not to report to law enforcement. Their evidence kits were collected and securely stored — preserving their chance for justice in the future, when and if they are ready. This ensures survivors don’t lose their chance for justice, even if they need more time.
     
  • 515 people in crisis picked up the phone not knowing if anyone would answer — and found a Mosaic advocate on the line, ready to listen, believe, and act.
     
  • 12 young survivors of trafficking were identified and supported with over 500 specialized services — to begin the long journey to health.
     

Securing Victims’ Rights and Safety 

Safety doesn’t stop at medical care – it continues into courtrooms, schools, homes, and legal systems. 

  • 319 survivors turned to Mosaic Georgia for legal advice and education, including 23 who received direct representation from an attorney. Many were experiencing complex family, criminal, or civil issues while trying to stay safe from stalkers, abusers, or system gaps.
     

Healing from Betrayal & Violence 

Healing is not a straight line – but it starts with safe, trusted support. 

  • 580 individuals began counseling to reclaim their mental health and resilience.  They participated in nearly 1,000 sessions with our licensed, trauma-focused therapists.
     
  • Strength through Community: 828 participants in support group and Wholeness Collective programming: 110 support group sessions equipped over 270 participants with healing and growth are possible. 68 Wholeness Collective events engaged over 550 youth and adults.
     

A Voice through Advocacy 

Victim Advocacy is specialized support for people who have experienced crime or abuse. Think of it like patient advocacy -but for survivors of violence. Much like a patient advocate helps navigate medical and insurance systems, our advocates help survivors understand their rights, access resources, and make informed choices after a traumatic event. We ensure their voices are heard in systems that are stretched and focused on process.

We provided over 29,000 advocacy contacts and supports in the first six months and managed over 60 subpoena and records requests, reducing survivors’ legal burden. 

Each contact represents a moment when a survivor didn’t have to face the trauma alone. 

Shifting the Shame 

While society debates sensational scandals, too often survivors in our own neighborhoods are asked What were you wearing? Why Didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you call the police? 

These questions, however curious, neutralize the responsibility of the perpetrator and assumes they have no self control.  

Instead of questioning survivors, we should be asking perpetrators:  Why did you think it’s okay to be intimate with someone who didn’t want that? Why didn’t you walk away when she said she wasn’t interested? Why did you get mad when she said no?
 

A Community That Doesn’t Look Away 

Even as we moved into our new Lawrenceville Center in May, our services never stopped. In June, more than 100 community members — including dignitaries, funders, and partners — joined us for our Grand Opening. WSB covered the event, amplifying the message that Gwinnett will not look away. 

Why This Matters Now 

The Epstein and Maxwell cases may dominate the headlines, but exploitation thrives in silence.  

Survivors in our communities deserve more than shock and outrage — they deserve dignity, safety, healing, and justice.
 

Behind every number is a survivor. Someone who decided to trust us with their story, their safety, and their future. Mosaic Georgia stands with them — alongside you, our community — for safer, stronger tomorrows. Don’t wait for the next headline. Join us! 

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Healing Across Cultural Lines: AAPI Heritage Month and the Journey Toward Inclusive Sexual Assault Awareness

by Ken Moua in Awareness & Education

Healing Across Cultural Lines: AAPI Heritage Month and the Journey Toward Inclusive Sexual Assault Awareness 

Compiled/Co-authored by:

Untitled design (38)

Esther Ko
Managing Attorney

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Amanda Makrogianis Mickelsen
Marketing Project Manager

Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month offers a vital opportunity to address sexual assault within AAPI communities, where cultural stigmas and immigration status often create additional barriers to reporting and seeking help. Many AAPI survivors face unique challenges, including language barriers, fear of bringing shame to their families, and distrust of systems that have historically failed to provide culturally responsive care. These intersecting factors contribute to the underreporting of sexual violence in AAPI communities, making dedicated advocacy and culturally-specific resources essential components of effective support systems.  

By recognizing these distinct challenges during AAPI Heritage Month, we can promote healing-centered approaches that honor diverse cultural contexts while working toward more inclusive sexual assault prevention and response. This commemoration reminds us that effective awareness must acknowledge how cultural identity shapes survivors’ experiences and pathways to healing. 

Mosaic Georgia has partnered with various organizations within the Asian community to drive discussion, educate, and collaborate.  

In a significant cross-cultural exchange, Mosaic Georgia recently welcomed lawyers from Seoul National University School of Law to discuss approaches to supporting sexual assault survivors. The visit illuminated stark contrasts in reporting processes, with Korean survivors facing additional hurdles such as requirements for detailed written statements before police investigations can proceed. This collaboration highlighted how cultural and systemic barriers create universal challenges for survivors seeking justice, while offering both parties valuable insights into developing more trauma-informed approaches that could be implemented across continents. 

 

Mosaic Georgia’s outreach to parents and caregivers at the Korean Parent Association Seminar at
Northview High School addressed growing concerns about children’s safety in the digital age. The seminar covered critical topics including family violence, sexual violence, and child sexual abuse, while providing practical information on protective orders, divorce proceedings, and crime reporting. Discussions centered on how deeply embedded cultural norms—particularly around shame—can prevent survivors from seeking help and accessing justice, emphasizing the need for culturally sensitive support services within AAPI communities.

 

 

Teen dating violence education was the focus of another impactful event where Mosaic Georgia
staff educated Korean teenagers about their rights under Title IX, consent concepts, recognizing dating violence, and reporting options. The interactive session revealed emerging trends in technology-facilitated abuse affecting young survivors. Participants openly discussed the unique social pressures that prevent teen survivors from coming forward, including peer pressure, bullying, and fears about social ostracism—challenges that are often amplified within tight-knit cultural communities. 

 

 

Recognizing the influential role of faith leaders, Mosaic Georgia conducted a comprehensive
Korean Pastor Training Seminar for 50-60 pastors on family violence, sexual violence, and child sexual abuse. Staff attorney Esther provided crucial education on mandatory reporting laws, reporting procedures, and appropriate responses to disclosures involving children, elders, and adults with disabilities. This engagement acknowledged the pivotal role spiritual communities often play in survivors’ healing journeys and emphasized the importance of creating safe spaces within faith contexts where cultural sensitivities are understood and respected.

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Love in Action: Beyond Hearts and Roses

by Susan Nerenbaum in Awareness & Education

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

Love in Action: Beyond Hearts and Roses

 

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.” The sentiment expressed in this song by Hal David and Burt Bacharach in 1965 still holds true today. The ancient Greeks had at least six words for different types of love. Those of us in philanthropy demonstrate agape, the love for humankind.  A big part of our purpose is to hold up the ideals that make a strong and safe community for everyone, especially for children, youth, people with disabilities, and others outside the mainstream.  At Mosaic Georgia, we see the harmful effects of “love” misused to groom, manipulate, coerce, and force harm.

 

A Month of Love 

February is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and if we truly care about love and relationships, we need to have some real conversations about what love is—and what it isn’t. Love should never hurt—physically, emotionally, financially, or psychologically. Love is more than a feeling; it is a verb. It requires action, care, and intention. And like any skill, love takes practice. Yet too many young people experience dating violence before they even fully understand what a healthy relationship looks like. In addition to watching adults in their homes, they are inundated with all types of examples on TV, social media, and other apps. 


According to the CDC, about 1 in 12 high school students experience physical or sexual dating violence.

Teen dating violence isn’t just about bruises or controlling behavior. It can look like manipulation, excessive jealousy, threats, and digital abuse—constant monitoring, pressure for explicit photos, or controlling someone’s social media. For some, these patterns start young and escalate over time, making it harder to recognize when something is wrong. 

 

 What It Is and What It’s Not
 

Love is not: 

 “If you love me, you would do this for me, no questions asked.” 

“You’re not allowed to talk to them anymore; it’s disrespectful to me.” 

“I need your passwords so I can trust you.” 

“If you don’t send me that picture, I’ll find someone who will.” 

“You wouldn’t leave me if you really loved me.” (“If you love me, you would…” is not love.)
 

We can do better.
 

Conversations about love and relationships need to start early—long before a young person starts dating. Parents, caregivers, and educators play a vital role in modeling and discussing what respect, boundaries, and consent look like. That means moving beyond the outdated “just say no” messages and equipping young people with real tools to navigate relationships with respect, recognize red flags, and feel empowered to set their own boundaries.

 

 What does this love look like in action?  

  • Talking about emotions openly and encouraging kids to express their feelings in healthy ways. 
  • Helping young people recognize manipulation, coercion, and gaslighting.  
  • Encouraging digital safety and privacy in relationships. 
  • Modeling respect and consent in all relationships—not just romantic ones. 
  • Expressing love in positive ways:
     
    • In work: Recognizing and appreciating colleagues’ efforts, offering support during stressful times, and fostering a culture of respect and encouragement. 
    • In friendship: Being present, listening without judgment, celebrating each other’s successes, and standing by one another through difficult times. 
    • In family: Showing affection through words and actions, respecting boundaries, and prioritizing quality time together. 
    • In romance: Practicing open communication, demonstrating trust, supporting each other’s goals, and expressing appreciation regularly. 

 

For those who’ve already experienced interpersonal violence, it’s never too late to get support. People are reluctant to speak up, fearing shame, disbelief, or retaliation. To create safe, judgment-free spaces for disclosure, just listen.  

 

Don’t ask, “Why did you do that/put up with that?” Instead, say, “Thank you for trusting me with this. It must be hard to share; I know how much you care for them.” Whether it’s a trusted adult, a friend, or a professional, support matters. 

 

Love is not about power or fear. It is an ongoing practice—something we nurture and refine over time through our actions and choices. It’s about mutual care, respect, and safety. This year, let’s commit to showing love with action every day. Because the best gift we can give our young people is the knowledge and confidence to expect and demand healthy relationships. 

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How to Recognize Abuse – and What to Do About It

by brian in Awareness & Education

How to Recognize Abuse – and What to Do About It

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

As adults, we have a collective responsibility to help keep children safe. We should be vigilant and informed about the signs of child abuse. Our recognition of the signs could be the lifeline that a child desperately needs.

5 Reasons Adults Need to Know the Signs of Child Sexual Abuse

  1. Protection and Prevention: early detection of grooming and abuse may alter the trajectory of a child’s life. Child sexual abuse often occurs in contexts where the perpetrator has a trusting relationship with child and/or caregivers. In many situations, the perpetrator has frequent access to the child. Early intervention can prevent sexual abuse from escalating and can stop it entirely. Not only does the recognition of abuse protect the child who is being harmed, but it may also prevent future children from being harmed.
  2. Providing Support: children who have experienced abuse will need access to supportive resources such as counseling, advocacy, and a medical examination. When adults recognize the signs and symptoms associated with child sexual abuse, children can access these resources quickly.
  3. Legal and Moral Responsibility: in some jurisdictions, adults are legally obligated to report suspected child abuse. Mandated reporting laws do not require absolute knowledge that abuse is occurring, rather reports are required if there is reasonable suspicion a child is being sexually abused or maltreated. Beyond legal requirements, there is a moral imperative to act in the best interests of vulnerable children.
  4. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: research reveals the devastating impacts of adverse childhood experiences. A 2021 study found that approximately half of child sexual abuse victims report sexual revictimization later in life which indicates the desperate need for intervention and supportive services during childhood and adolescence.
  5. Raising Community Awareness: when adults are informed and proactive, they contribute to a community culture that does not tolerate abuse. This heightened awareness can lead to better protection policies, more resources for victims, and a community that collectively works to safeguard its children.

Signs of Child Sexual Abuse

Parents, teacher, coaches or caregivers may feel concerned or overwhelmed at the thought of identifying signs of abuse. She’s been acting withdrawn and not herself lately but how do I know if that’s just typical teenage stuff? Am I overthinking it? Is something really wrong? By educating ourselves and becoming aware of what to look for we can feel more prepared to trust ourselves to notice when something might not be quite right.

Effects of abuse manifest with both behavioral and physical signs.

Someone experiencing the trauma of abuse may exhibit extreme changes in behavior including sudden mood swings such as rage, fear or withdrawal. They may also express fear or dislike of certain people or places. Victims may detach from others and become depressed.

Sexual behaviors may emerge such as age-inappropriate interest in sexual matters, like simulating sex with dolls or asking other children to behave sexually. Excessive or compulsive masturbation may occur.

Sleep disturbances can be common such as nightmares, fear of the dark or trouble sleeping. In some instances a regression to infantile behavior such as bedwetting or thumb sucking can be seen.

Physical signs may include abdominal pain or unexplained stomach illness, loss of appetite or trouble eating or swallowing, sudden weight loss or gain and difficulty with bowel movements or urination. If there is indication of unexplained bruises, pain, bleeding or redness on the child’s genitals or anus, or frequent vaginal infections or irritations, this could be a sign of misconduct.

Once I Know, What Should I Do?

If a child is seen to display some of the symptoms listed above, they should be asked open-ended questions in a calm, neutral, and caring manner.

Examples of questions might include:

If a child or teen suddenly has a new relationship with an individual who is older than them or that they display some secrecy about:
Tell me more about your relationship with X. What do you like about them? What do you not like about them?

If a child or teen begins using new words for body parts or exhibits knowledge in sexual acts inappropriate for their age:
Will you tell me what you mean when you refer to X? How did you learn about that? How did you feel when you learned about it? .

If a child is experiencing sleep disturbances:
Take note of what has changed in the child’s routine, how the child’s nutrition/eating schedule may have changed (for example caffeine intake). Are there any new stressors in the household?

If a child or teen experiences avoidance or withdrawal:
Tell me about the last time you remember spending time at/with X. What feelings/sensations do you notice in your body when they are around?

These questions can be used as a guide to open communication about the signs/symptoms an adult may notice. It is important to avoid close ended questions, those that a child or teen may respond to with a yes or no.

If a child discloses they have been harmed or abused, they need a calm, nurturing response from the adult.

Adults should strive to respond with calmness, comfort, and action. Examples of verbiage to respond to a disclosure of sexual abuse are:

“You are very brave and I appreciate you telling me what you’ve experienced. I believe you. It is important to me that you are safe. I am going to make some telephone calls so we can figure out how to keep you safe.”

“I believe you. I am so sorry that you have been hurt by a person you trusted. You did the right thing by sharing what happened to you. It is not okay that X hurt you. You are not in trouble for telling me. We are going to work together to figure out a plan to keep you safe. I am going to make a couple of phone calls to people who can help us with that goal.”

Where to Find Help

The next steps following a disclosure involve notifying the appropriate authorities, including law enforcement and the Child Protective Services Hotline.

If you have any questions about identifying abuse, please contact Mosaic Georgia at 866-900-6019 to speak with a trained advocate.

If you know a child or have a suspicion that a child has been victimized by child sexual abuse, call your local law enforcement agency at 911 or local child protective services (in Gwinnett County, Georgia – Gwinnett County Department of Family and Children’s Services at 678-518-5500).

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The Signs of Suicide: A Guide to Self-Education

by brian in Awareness & Education

The Signs of Suicide: A Guide to Self-Education

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

Two people holding hands

Adolescence and young adulthood are a time marked by immense change, challenge, and growth. From surviving the emotional ups and downs and physical changes associated with puberty to navigating new responsibilities and freedoms, this season is often recognized as one with the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

Alarmingly, suicide is the second-leading cause of death among youth and young adults ages 10-34.1 It is critical that the community surrounding these youth and young adults recognize the signs that someone may be struggling with suicidal ideation and become equipped with the knowledge to provide appropriate support.

In 2022, there were 49,430 deaths by suicide among individuals ages 12 and older. For every suicide death, there were about: 11 emergency department visits for self-injury, 52 reported suicide attempts in the last year, and 336 people who seriously considered suicide in the past year.2

The lives lost and harmed by suicide crises are sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, and loved ones.

Their lives matter.

What to Look For

What are the signs that a youth or young adult may be struggling with suicidal ideation? 3 The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention categorizes some of the signs as talk, behavior, and mood.

Talk

If a person talks about:

  • Killing themselves
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Having no reason to live
  • Being a burden to others
  • Feeling trapped
  • Unbearable pain

Behavior

Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss, or change:

  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Looking for a way to end their lives, such as online searches
  • Withdrawing from activities
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
  • Giving away prized possessions
  • Aggression
  • Fatigue

Mood

People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Loss of interest
  • Irritability
  • Humiliation/shame
  • Agitation/anger
  • Relief/sudden improvement

What To Do

It is not enough to know the signs a person may be at risk for suicide. We must know what steps one can take to respond and intervene on the person’s behalf.

Connect

Genuinely connect with the person and express your concern about the signs you’ve noticed. Be specific about what you have noticed and share why the signs concern you. Express a desire to support them if they are experiencing challenges. If they share their struggles, stay calm and listen empathically. Take their statements seriously and acknowledge the gravity of the challenges they face. Say something like “it seems like this is a very [painful, lonely, scary, etc.] experience for you. I’m so thankful you trusted me with this information, and I want to support you and help you find ways to get through this difficult time.”

Ask Directly

We cannot tiptoe around the topic of suicidal ideation. It is critical to ask the person directly,

“Have you had any thoughts about killing yourself?” or “Have you had any thoughts about ending your life?”

When we ask the question, it demonstrates to the youth or young adult that we are capable of supporting them and are willing to discuss their struggles openly. If you have never asked a person this question, I encourage you to practice in the mirror until it flows as effortlessly as possible.

Safety and Resources

If the person answers “yes,” indicating they are having thoughts about wanting to kill themselves, then we have to further assess the need for safety measures. We can ask, “Have you thought about how you might kill yourself? Have you thought about when you would end your life?”

If the person responds that they have identified the means through which they plan to end their life, have determined a time they plan to end their life, and they have the means within immediate access, 911 should be called immediately.

If the person has identified the way they plan to end their life and they have the means to carry out this plan, but they are physically safe in your presence, you can call 988 to access additional resources and to identify the next best steps for whatever community you are in.

If the person expresses suicidal ideation, meaning they are thinking about ending their life but haven’t made a plan, 988 is still a great resource. A trained crisis intervention specialist can assist with safety planning and connecting the individual with additional mental health resources to support them.

Additional Training

Every month in Gwinnett County, GUIDE Inc. hosts a free training course for members of the community called QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer). QPR is a 2-hour training that teaches you how to help prevent suicide in 3 steps. This is a great resource for anyone who wants additional information about how to support someone experiencing suicidal risk.

https://guideinc.org/training-catalog/

_________________________________________________________ 

[1] CDC, https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/vsrr/vsrr024.pdf 

[2] https://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/reports/rpt42731/2022-nsduh-nnr.pdf 

[3] https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs/ 

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The Bigger Picture of Recovery: Working with CSEC Clients 

by miguelm in Awareness & Education, Professional Insights & Experiences, Support & Healing, Uncategorized

The Bigger Picture of Recovery: Working with CSEC Clients 

 

Spring is in the air and Mosaic Georgia is ready! The weather is gradually warming up. COVID-19 vaccines are rolling out to our friends and neighbors. It feels like there’s FINALLY light at the end of the tunnel!  While we’re looking forward to “springing” into this new season, we are also eager to engage in more work with a very important group of youth we serve: CSEC clients. Back in October we had the privilege of joining CACGA (Child Advocacy Centers of Georgia) in providing human trafficking intervention services (1-866-ENDHTGA).  But what happens next? What exactly is involved in working with CSEC clients?

When we welcome CSEC victims, we are receiving referrals directly from CACGA or law enforcement. This means that these youth either have experienced or are at high risk of experiencing trafficking or exploitation. Mosaic Georgia’s CSEC response includes a lot of communication and coordination with the youth’s non-offending parent/caregiver, law enforcement, and other state agencies involved with the youth.

Upon arrival, youth are met by our CSEC response team who create a calm environment and get to know the youth and explain why they are at Mosaic Georgia and the next steps. An assessment process begins to better understand the youth’s life circumstances. Our CSEC assessment  may include gathering history, a forensic interview, a medical exam, and advocacy to determine if the commercial sexual exploitation has occurred.

Mosaic Georgia coordinates a Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT) approach for each youth, based on their circumstances to ensure they don’t fall through the cracks. The MDT is comprised of government partners including law enforcement, and may include DFCS, juvenile court, Guardian Ad Litem, and Mosaic Georgia’s specialists in medical, counseling, legal, and advocacy. This collaborative approach improves law enforcement investigations of perpetrators, raises issues that may not otherwise be expressed, and maintains a focus on the best interests of the child/youth. The CSEC Advocate learns of plans in place or forthcoming resources from partners that inform the youth’s action plan.

After assessment and review by the MDT, the youth and their CSEC Advocate collaborate together on a plan of action, to improve their safety, reduce future risk and move forward from trauma. Plans may include basic life essentials, support for the parent/guardian, education supports, probation or juvenile court issues, mental health and life skills counseling. It’s important to remember that commercial sexual exploitation of a child is traumatic for both the client and their family. CSEC Advocates are dedicated to working with the client’s families as well and connecting them with tangible resources to support health and healing.

In 2020, we began working with eight youth who were sexually exploited for commercial purposes. Surviving trafficking is a long journey. There is no time frame to how long we work with CSEC clients.

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Someone’s Gotta Say it- Out from the Shadows: The Battle With Taboos and Stigma

by Susan Nerenbaum in Awareness & Education, HEALTH, Mental Health & Trauma, SAFETY, Support & Healing

Someone’s Gotta Say It

 

Out from the Shadows: The Battle With Taboos and Stigma

 

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

If you have circled the sun’s orbit at least a dozen times, you’re likely familiar with the double-edged sword of social taboos. Lucky are the few who have skirted the jagged edges of stigma; for many this isn’t the case.   

Every culture wraps certain topics in an invisible cloak of discomfort and prohibition. These are our taboos, ranging from the mundane – like talking on speakerphone in public places – to the deeply personal, like discussing sexual violence. Originating from the Tongan word “tabu,” meaning set apart or forbidden, taboos sculpt our beliefs of what is socially, morally, or religiously unacceptable. They wield the power of social stigma as their enforcer. This invisible yet palpable force maintains social norms but at what cost? 

In the U.S., everyday taboos might include not cleaning up after your pet, belching at the dinner table, or checking your phone during a job interview. Yet, it’s in the realm of “polite company” where the deeper taboos lurk, shrouded in euphemisms or silence — topics such as puberty, menstruation, and our very genitalia become unspeakable. Here is where stigma casts a long shadow, marking some people with shame and disgrace over certain circumstances often beyond their control.   

Stigma is defined as a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. A powerful social force, stigma thrives on the fear of exclusion, of becoming “othered.” It embeds itself within our social networks and hierarchies, adapting by leveraging dominance to instill fear or using prestige to demand respect. The stigma of rape and abuse are very prevalent in American society and people don’t often realize that their comments and reactions humiliate sexual assault victims. 

Taboos give birth to euphemisms, those linguistic gymnastics we perform to skirt around the discomfort of reality. Euphemisms are generally used to make phrases more positive than the actual word. Consider how we soften the blow of death with phrases like “passed away” or tiptoe around illness by saying someone has “caught a bug.” These linguistic detours are our society’s attempt to navigate the uncomfortable, yet they also serve as early beacons of our implicit biases. From childhood, we’re taught to cloak our bodies in euphemism, learning about “pee” and “poop.” Why are some body parts easy to say and learn – eyes, ears, nose, elbows, knees, and toes, yet penis, vulva, and anus are given other names? We receive messages early in life that some parts of our bodies are taboo. Thus our implicit biases begin. 

But what happens when these dynamics intersect with the most vulnerable moments of our lives, such as disclosing an experience of sexual abuse or assault? 

Will You React or Respond?  The Choice is Yours 

The way we react to someone – whether a child, teen, adult, or senior – when they disclose an experience of abuse or assault can significantly shape the survivor’s healing journey and willingness to seek further help. The responses, influenced by a blend of societal norms, personal beliefs, and psychological factors, can either pave a path toward healing or exacerbate an already profound trauma.  

Understanding these reactions and how to navigate them is crucial for anyone who might find themselves in the position of a confidante or first responder to such disclosures. Here’s a nuanced look at common reactions, along with practical advice for fostering a more supportive and healing-oriented response. 

Embracing Support and Belief 

The ideal response involves offering unconditional support and belief. This positive reception stems from empathy, awareness, and an absence of judgment. It is crucial to affirm the survivor’s experience, validate their feelings, and assure them that the abuse or assault was not their fault. 

Tips for Being Supportive: 

  • Listen Actively: Let them share as much or as little as they wish, without pressing for details. 
  • Affirm Their Courage: Acknowledge the bravery it takes to tell you.  
  • Offer Resources, Not Directives: Find and share information on professional support services (like Mosaic Georgia), empowering them to make their own choices.  

Navigating Skepticism and Disbelief 

Often, our initial reaction to surprising news is disbelief. “No way!” we might explain. In instances of sexual violations, skepticism can be a reflex especially if cognitive dissonance arises from knowing both parties involved. (e.g., He’s such a nice guy; I can’t believe he would do such a thing).  It can be a struggle to align this new information with their existing perception. Check these impulses, recognizing the courage it takes to disclose such experiences. 

Tips for Managing Disbelief: 

  • Educate Yourself: Learn about the dynamics of abuse and the varied ways survivors respond to trauma. There is no “right” way to respond to trauma.  
  • Challenge Your Biases: Reflect on any preconceptions you have about abuse and its survivors. 
  • Prioritize Empathy: Focus on the survivor’s emotional state and needs, rather than your doubts

Avoiding Blame and Victim-Shaming 

Language plays a role in either perpetuating stigma or moving towards understanding. Even well-meaning family or friends ask questions like “what were you wearing/drinking?” or “were you flirting with him?” to try to make sense of what happened.

But these questions reflect deeply ingrained societal norms that wrongly hold individuals responsible for preventing their own victimization.    

These questions shift accountability of the perpetrator and create emotional distance between you and the person you care about. This reaction is harmful and isolates the survivor. 

Would you ask these questions of someone who was mugged or car-jacked? No, because the offender is responsible for their actions.  

Tips for Avoiding Blame: 

  • Avoid Judgmental Questions: Do not question their actions, attire, or decisions during the event. 
  • Challenge Victim-Blaming Myths:  Remind yourself that the only person responsible for the abuse or assault is the perpetrator. 
  • Focus on Support: Center the conversation around the survivor’s feelings and what they need from you.
     

Dispelling Denial or Minimization 

Sometimes people respond with comments like, “It wasn’t that bad” or “At least…” or “You don’t look / act like you’ve been raped.” These are not helpful to the survivor. Denial and minimization serve to protect the responder’s worldview or the reputation of the accused, but they invalidate the survivor’s experience.  

Tips for Confronting Denial: 

  • Acknowledge the Survivor’s Reality: Honor their story as their lived reality, validating their feelings and experiences.  
  • Educate Yourself on Trauma: Understand that minimizing their experience can compound their trauma. 
  • Encourage Professional Support:  Recognize when the situation is beyond your capacity and encourage engagement with professionals and specialized services (like through Mosaic Georgia).  

Harness Expression of Anger or Desire for Retribution 

For a parent or a partner of one who has disclosed abuse, this is especially for you: express your anger away from your loved one. While a natural response, reacting with expressive anger about the assault/abuse will only add to the stress for the person who shared with you. Many children and youth report a reason for not telling a loving parent is fear the parent will respond violently against the perpetrator. “I don’t want my dad to go to jail because he wants to defend me.”  

Seeking retribution without the survivor’s consent can further disempower them. 

Tips for Managing Anger: 

  • Process Your Feelings Separately: Seek your own support system to deal with feelings of anger. 
  • Respect the Survivor’s Wishes: Align your actions with what the survivor feels is best for their healing. 
  • Promote Agency: Support the survivor in making their own informed decisions about seeking justice or other next steps. 

We can’t control what happened, but we can choose to respond rather than react.  

How you react to the news can profoundly affect the person who was harmed by abuse or assault.  When you start by supportive listening and acceptance, you facilitate a path toward healing.  

Breaking down the stigma surrounding sexual violence begins with challenging our implicit biases and reframing the language we use to discuss these issues. By focusing on the perpetrator’s responsibility and recognizing the courage it takes for survivors to come forward, we can hold offenders accountable and create a safer, more supportive society for all.  

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Why Awareness Matters

by brian in Awareness & Education, Uncategorized

Why Awareness Matters

 

“I’ve learned throughout the years that no one wants to talk about what I do for a living. Getting folks energized about sexual violence prevention is not easy.”

By: Sara Cherry, Advocacy Manager

In my time as an Advocate for the past 5 years, Sexual Assault Awareness Month has been vastly different every year. I have experienced Aprils chock-full of every kind of event regarding sexual violence, and I have experienced Aprils where a few digital informational flyers and a Zoom presentation were the best I could hope for in terms of spreading awareness.

I began my career in the wake of the #MeToo Movement. People were tuned into the conversation. They were listening, learning. They were hearing what survivors and Advocates have always been saying: that sexual assault is a public health crisis. College campuses were eager to work with their local Sexual Assault Centers to implement sexual assault prevention & education programming, utilize Advocacy services for survivors, and draw from the knowledge of the experts in the field in order to make their communities safer.

As time passed, conversations pivoted away from sexual violence and the spotlight shifted. The global pandemic we’ve all been living through for the past two years is no small player here; our attention was held captive by another pressing health crisis. While #MeToo isn’t making nearly as many headlines as it was a few years ago, the impact it has made is worth noting. First of all, the conversation was finally being had. That’s no small feat when considering the topic!

I’ve learned throughout the years that no one wants to talk about what I do for a living. Getting folks energized about sexual violence prevention is not easy.

Additionally, measures were put in place in classrooms, workplaces, and maybe even in some unwritten cultural rulebooks about standing up to and preventing this type of violence. As a society, I believe we tolerate sexual assault a little less, we know our rights a little more, and those that experience this type of violence know that they are not alone. There will always be places like Mosaic Georgia that exist to help survivors through their experiences, and so long as we do we will do our part during Sexual Assault Awareness Month to educate and hopefully prevent future violence.

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Abuse Occurs in Ways We Least Expect: Keeping Children Safe at the Holidays

by brian in Awareness & Education, Child & Teen Safety

Abuse Occurs in Ways We Least Expect: Keeping Children Safe at the Holidays

Kendall Circle Headshot

By Kendall Wolz
Mental Health and Wellness Manager at Mosaic Georgia

As the holidays are upon us, families and friends will gather around tables to share meals and spend time in each other’s company. Many people look forward to this time of the year to catch up with loved ones they may not get to see often. But for some, the holidays are filled with anxiety, fear, and potentially further harm. Over 90% of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser.1 As hard as it is to fathom, there is a disturbing possibility that a perpetrator could be involved in your holiday traditions.

The purpose of this post is to equip you and your children with strategies to prevent abuse during family gatherings and other holiday celebrations and to respond quickly and appropriately if your child discloses harm.

One of the most heart-wrenching impacts of child sexual abuse is the way it silences victims. The average age of disclosure of child sexual abuse is 52 years.2 Because of the power perpetrators wield over their victims, it is imperative we provide children the tools they need to speak if they experience harm.

Many of us rest in a false security when we gather with those we love. We may think, “no one here would hurt my child” or “there are so many people around and watching, nothing could happen here.” It may feel unbearable to accept the alternative.

When I was a child experiencing ongoing sexual abuse, there were many times my abuser was brazen enough to abuse me in the presence of others. He had manipulated and groomed me into compliance and silence. He knew that he if discreetly touched me inappropriately in a room full of people, I would not scream, I would not speak up. As I reflect on those painful moments, I recognize now what would have been helpful to me and might have prevented some of the harm I experienced.

1. People who say they love us may also harm us, and that does not make it okay.

Does your child know that even if someone says they love them, it is never okay for that person to hurt them? It is never okay for that person to make them feel scared, nervous, or icky. Can your child name an adult they will tell if someone makes them feel that way?

2. Secrets are never okay.

Have you talked about the differences between secrets and surprises with your child ahead of the holidays? If not, now is a great time to begin this conversation. The fundamental differences between secrets and surprises are broken down in one of my previous articles.

3. Empower your child with body autonomy.

Provide your child with the option of saying “no.” If your child doesn’t want to hug great uncle Bob and doesn’t want a kiss on the cheek from great aunt Sue, teach them phrases of polite decline. Then, tell Uncle Bob and Aunt Sue that they cannot hug or kiss your child if they resist or say no. Maybe your child is okay with a handshake, fist bump, or wave instead. Help your child recognize what feels safe to them.

4. Recognize the signs of grooming.

Unfortunately, in the early stages, grooming behaviors often mimic dynamics that occur in healthy relationships. This makes it hard to detect, initially. However, there are some things you can look for when an adult is grooming a child. Is there a person who suddenly begins to show an increased interest in your child? Maybe they have complimented your child’s athletic abilities or musical talents and show interest in supporting them in those areas. Are they spending time alone with your child? Have they started providing for your child in ways they did not previously? Reflecting on my own experience, one of the signs of grooming I recognize as an adult is my abuser inviting me to begin watching the television show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with him. Prior to the show airing, we never watched television together in his bedroom.

My intention is not to make you fearful about every person your child comes into contact with, but to make you aware that abuse does happen in the presence of other people. Just because it is a holiday does not mean an abuser will abstain from abusing.

If you have children, I hope you will take the time to talk about body rights and healthy touch.

If they appear fearful or nervous around certain people, do not brush it off as shyness- ask questions. Fight through the discomfort this type of conversation may bring.

Have these necessary conversations now.

If you suspect abuse and feel confused, scared, or overwhelmed about what to do next, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673). If you live in the Gwinnett County area of Georgia and abuse has been disclosed, please call our Mosaic Georgia crisis line at 866-900-6019 to talk with an advocate who is there to provide you with the resources you need and support you through the process.

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From Awkward to Empowered: Rethinking “the Talk”

by brian in Awareness & Education, Child & Teen Safety

Someone’s Gotta Say It

From Awkward to Empowered: Rethinking “the Talk”

By Marina Sampanes Peed
Executive Director of Mosaic Georgia

Do you remember the whirlwind of emotions and questions that came with growing up? I sure do. Not too long ago, I was gently reminded that I’ve stepped into the “woman of a certain age” chapter in life. And what a vibrant chapter it is! As a proud mom of two wonderful grown-up kids, and having weathered life’s many unexpected twists, I often find myself reflecting on those pivotal parenting moments. Recently, a close friend (and a mom to some spirited youngsters) curiously asked about my journey through their hormone-driven teenage years. With a smile, I admitted, “You know, I thought I had all the answers and would be the perfect parent… until we brought our daughter home from the hospital. Talk about humbling!” 

As parents, our protective instincts are on high alert. From the rising cost of living and healthcare to the daily news about guns, active shooter drills, student debts, and challenges to our fundamental rights, it can feel a bit overwhelming. But amidst this whirlwind, it helps to start where you are, with what is in your control. Let’s begin with those heart-to-heart talks about the changes they are feeling.   

In this rapidly changing world, it’s crucial for adults to overcome their hesitations and ensure our children and teens are well-informed and equipped with facts about their bodies, sexual contact, self-confidence and communication skills.

Discomfort is Just a Feeling: You’re Not Alone

We’ve all been there. That slight unease when broaching certain topics with our kids. Most of us didn’t have great role models in the “birds and the bees” conversations (that I even wrote “birds and the bees” in 2023 should be instructive). Some fear that if you talk about sex, it will encourage them to act on that new information. As if they aren’t naturally curious about the body parts they carry with them already.  

Why Your Silence Isn’t Always Golden

Whether we like it or not, today’s youth are surrounded by sexualized messages – from advertisements, TV and movies, music, social media, and even pornography.  

Here is what we know to be true: Normalizing discussions about bodies, hormones, relationships, values, and consequences are protective factors that can reduce early risky sexual activity and sexual harms.   

Calling body parts the proper terms without blushing or whispering is the first step. Read this next section out loud: 

Start at the top:  Head, forehead, eyes, nose, lips, ears, shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, chest, breast, abdomen, penis, testicles, anus, vulva (includes labia, urethra, clitoris, vagina), thighs, calves, foot, toes.  

If you can’t read or say these words out loud, your assignment is to work through your discomfort.  Parts are parts. 

The Danger of Secrecy and Shame

Kids can read the room. When adults avoid talking about human development or speak with declarative statements that shut down conversation, they create an environment of secrecy and shame. Parents who tell kids to “wait until marriage” (message reinforced to girls) for religious or cultural reasons, without educating about sexual activity, put their kids at greater risk for unintended harms. This creates a fertile ground for abusers. People who sexually abuse and exploit others thrive on coercion and secrecy. They manipulate their victims over time, creating damaging repercussions. The lifelong effects of childhood sexual abuse are many and varied, depending on the type, frequency and intensity of abuse, and child’s relationship to the abuser. 

Did you know 25% of girls and 17% of boys K-12 ages (in both public and private education) have experienced some form of sexual abuse? These statistics represent real individuals, often victims of people within their close circle. Their language used often in describing genitals and the sexual acts reveal a lack of basic education about their bodies. Concerns about pregnancy from non-vaginal intercourse are common

The Statistics Have Names and Faces

At Mosaic Georgia, for example, over 1,500 children and youth are seen each year for harms arising from sexual abuse or exploitation. We’ve worked with minors who became parents due to familial sexual abuse and commercial trafficking. The trajectory of their lives are forever changed because of sexual abuse.

Parents of these youth are often shocked that the abuse was happening and lament that they thought their child was too young to talk about such things. 

And there are as many adults who experienced sexual abuse as children, who later in life seek resources and support in their healing journey. Most victims hold their experiences in silence, fearing that “telling” will cause more harm to themselves and their family. Abstinence-only messages further inflict shame and guilt on young victims, contributing to mental health struggles, including depression, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. 

Shifting Perspective: From Discomfort to Empowerment

Think back to your childhood. Do you remember the tingles, the whispers, the giggles, and the myths associated with s-e-x? Remember the confusion and perhaps even the fear?  

We can do better. Comprehensive sexual education goes beyond biology and mechanics to include the emotional and ethical facets. It’s about teaching respect for self and others, understanding boundaries and consent, and fostering healthy relationships. It’s about creating an environment where our children can grow up understanding their bodies, respecting and valuing a partner, and building meaningful, respectful relationships.

Parents as First Teachers, Schools as Allies

Parents weave a tapestry of trust, respect, and knowledge with their kids through everyday conversations. Spending time to listen, share, and even laugh about life’s mysteries will build bonds and trust. While parents are a child’s first teachers, there is no knowledge test to pass in order to become a parent. Parents have varying levels of knowledge, skills, and confidence to talk about human reproduction, pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood.  

Schools can bridge this information gap, ensuring all students have access to factual information and understand the risks and consequences of varied sexual activity. And the curriculum is a great basis for discussion between parent and child.  

A collaborative approach ensures that all our children receive consistent, relevant, and age-appropriate information. This shared responsibility can also alleviate some of the pressures parents might feel about having these discussions on their own.

Resources to Help

For parents who may be unsure where to start or how to approach these topics, there are numerous resources available. Organizations like Mosaic Georgia, among others, offer tools to initiate these essential conversations.  

There are more books and curriculum on-line that you can read first, then share with your kids. Sometimes it’s easiest for each to read on their own and then discuss together.  Like a book club for child/adolescent health.

Call to Act: An Investment in Their Future

It’s natural to feel discomfort, but let’s channel that unease into action. After all, our children’s empowerment and safety are well worth the effort. 

When we know better, we do better.

The path forward is paved with knowledge, empathy, and understanding. Let’s take the necessary steps to ensure that our children grow up with the confidence and tools they need to navigate the complex world of sexual health and relationships. After all, knowledge is not just power; it’s empowering. 

Thank you for reading this to the end. If you’d like to talk with me about protecting all our children, please reach out to marinap@mosaicga.org  Let’s be the best village we can be for future generations. 

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